Gundam Wing Evil: Duo Shock Version
by Nuki Yin
Summary: R for language and violence. Gundam Wing Parody of Resident Evil. The Gundam Fab Five take on Zombies, Stalkers, and the Big Guy inside the Parasol Mansion!!!
1. Gundam Wing Evil: Duo Shock Version

Gundam Wing Evil: Duo Shock Version

Fanfic by  Nuki Yin

Characters by SUNRISE

Based on Game by CAPCOM

(...phew!!!)

**Heero's voice****:  _There were random attacks within the Lemur City area that left the police and SWAT team baffled.  Victims were actually being eaten.  This called for the L.P.D. Special Forces units: The Preventers._**

_Our first unit of Preventers were assigned to a mission of infiltrating the Parasol Mansion  located in the far woodland area of Lemur City.  Days had passed, and there was NO communication OR response from the Alpha Team of Preventers._

_That meant only ONE thing:  My vacation with Relena was canned...  It was starting to become the best day of my life----AT LEAST until I arrived at the Parasol Mansion…._

It was believed that the Parasol Corp. was responsible for the random case of attacks.  Though they denied it, we, the Preventers, decided to investigate anyway.

_The mission is simple:  Infiltrate the mansion.  Rescue the Alpha Team.  Eliminate the evidence.  Blow the joint up and kill lots of bad guys…_

_I swear Duo Maxwell scribbled that in the memo…  It's written in CRAYON?!??!_

_Yet I can't help but concur with the idea of demolition and mass homicide…  _

**(End Heero's voice)**

            **12AM.  In the Lemur Forest clearing in front of the Parasol Mansion.**

            The Preventers' Beta Team makes the scene.  They are being dropped off by helicopter.  The leader jumps out followed by the head sniper and weapons & explosives expert.  The second sniper gets ready to jump….

**Heero's voice:  _The Beta Team consisted of me—Heero Yuy—Main Snipe AKA ThePerfect Shot.  Duo Maxwell:  2nd Snipe AKA Walking Arsenal of Death.  Trowa Barton: Demolition AKA Silent Arsenal of Destruction.  The Team Leader: Zechs Marquise AKA Lord of Good Hair.  Last and most nauseating:  Wufei Chang: Pilot AKA The Lone Nag.  As usual he's being a total He-Bitch right now…._**

(**Heero's voice over)**

            "Why do I have to stay here?"  The Chinese pilot pouted.  "I'm a Preventer. Too!!!  I should be here to fight as well!!!"

            "Nah Yo!"  Duo responded as he finally leaped down from the chopper.

            Zechs spoke towards Wufei,  "This is a desperate situation.  A possible rescue mission."  He sent Duo and Trowa orders to move on ahead.  "We need you here for quick departure. Mr. Chang."

            Duo added boldly,  "Besides you suck!"

            Trowa couldn't help but snicker at his bluntness.  

            Wufei huffed,  "You BASTARD!  This is INJUSTICE!!!"

            "It certainly is….  How did you become a Preventer ANYway!!!?"  Duo continued.

            Zechs shouted to Duo,  "Maxwell!!!  That is NOT the way of a warrior to insult your fellow comrade!!!"

            "This is NOT high school, Duo!  This is a mission."  Heero announced.  

            "Apologize, now!!!"

            Duo pouted and turned back to Wufei.  "I am sorry….."

            Wufei was infuriated.  He took the controls of the chopper and began to take off.  

            "!!?!?"  Trowa choked.  "Uhm…. Sir….."  He uttered to Zechs.

            Zechs and Heero looked back and saw that Wufei was STILL being Wufei.  "!!!!"

            "He was NOT sincere!!!!"

            "He apologized!!!"  Zechs announced, having his fill of Wufei's attitude.  "Land that chopper NOW!!!"

            "YOU are such a DICK!!!!"  Duo insulted, also pissed. "You SUCK!  I know this!  Zechs knows this!  YOU know this!!!"

            Heero stormed over to Duo and FWAPPED him in the back of the head.  "**SHUT-UP!!!**  You ARE NOT making this ANY better!!!"

            "He is LAUGHING!!!!"  Wufei shouted back to Zechs, pointing at Duo.  Wufei began to take the chopper higher.

            "…..I …..am…….NOT-----BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

            "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!"  Sounded a creature behind Heero and Duo.

            "Uh….."

            The snipers turned around and saw the UGLIEST dog in their lives.  It had a bulging eye!  Correction an eye hanging on a nerve, dangling on the side of its face!!!  The fur was all mangled.  IT LOOKED like it was falling off.  His teeth were all black and slimey, and he was FOAMING and slobbering blood all over!!!!

            "Oh shit… what IS that?" Heero uttered flatly.

            Duo hid behind Heero and replied,  "It's a rabid dog!!!  Kill it Heero!!!"

            Heero glared back at Duo.  He snatched Duo, by the braid, and placed him up front.  "Make yourself useful, Sniper Boy!!!"

            Duo took the shot.  BAM!!!  He got him.  Duo took cover behind Heero again when the mutt staggered back on its decayed feet and starting stalking towards them.

            "Ohhh…. Damn…" The God of Death gasped.  "It's a zombie dog!!!"

            "The fuck!?!"  Zechs exclaimed as he spotted several zombie dogs leering at him from a short distance.  He hurried over to Duo and clutched his braid and ordered,  "APOLOGIZE!!!!"

            "T-to the dog?"

            Zechs FWAPPED Duo on the head and shouted,  "No!!!!  To the chopper pilot: Wufei!!!"

            Before Duo could comply, Wufei took off within the helicopter.

            "Enjoy your pets!!!  Ha-HA!!!"  He blared through the megaphone.

            Zechs, Heero, and EVEN Trowa glared Death-style at Duo.

            "I…."  Zechs uttered emotionlessly.

            "…. could….."  Trowa continued.

            "KILL YOU!"  Heero concluded with a low growl as he grabbed a hold of Duo's neck and began to squeeze.

            "A-CK!!!!  Help!!!!  Captain!!!!"

            "Save some for me, Yuy."  Zechs said.

            Trowa tapped both Preventers on their shoulders and reminded them of the legion of zombie dogs NOW surrounding them.  The Preventers were, now standing back-to-back-to-back!!!!(???)

            "W-what are we gonna do?"  Duo stuttered.

            "Besides feeding you to them as a distraction?"  Trowa commented gingerly.

            "Excellent!"  Zechs agreed.

            "B-but I'm the God of Death!!!  You can't kill me!!!"

            "Well now's the time to shine, Shinagami…"  Heero smirked.

            "…*sniff*  I don't wanna die!!!  *sniff* Waaaaah!!!!!"

            "Shut-up, Duo!"  Heero snapped as he suddenly came up with plan B.  "Trowa, Zechs you blast the rear.  Duo and I will make a path through the front."

            Duo straighten up and mentioned,  "But people we can't outrun dogs!!"

            "Give me a break, they are dead!  How fast can they go?"  Zechs retorted.  "Besides we have Trowa.  All creatures like him…"

            They looked over to Trowa who was busy kicking a dog off his leg.  "Get off of me!!!"

            Heero arched his brow and stated,  "Correction:  I'll snipe the Lover of Trowa's Leg and everyone else start shooting. Head for the mansion."

            "Good call!"  Duo complimented.

            "Shut-up!  If this doesn't work we'll resort to Plan A—Operation Duo Platter."  Heero reminded.

            "HUH?!?"

            "1…2…..3….FIRE!!!"  Heero instantly sniped the dog off of Trowa's leg and started firing upon the zombie dogs on the front with his sub machine gun.

            Duo also fired at the front and made a run for the mansion.  Trowa and Zechs opened fire upon the dogs at the rear and high-tailed it.  All 4 Preventers headed towards the Parasol mansion, guns blazing and grenades booming!!!!

            They made it through the mansion doors and continued to fire at everything!!!!  Heero ran upstairs and shot the hell out of some statues.  Trowa went postal on a small, elevated table, killing a typewriter.  Duo started shooting the chandelier.  Zechs just stared at them….

            "What are these guys doing??!"  he said to himself.  "Hold!  HOLD!! **HOLD!!!"**

            The Preventers stopped firing at strared back at Zechs, blankly.

            "What a mansion!"  Zechs uttered in a dull manner.

            "Hey!!!  Where's Heero??!"  Duo called out to the other pilots.  He raced towards the doubled doors…

            "Wait!  Don't open that door!"  Zechs ordered. 

            "Yeah, stupid!  We're in enough crap because of you!" Trowa recalled.  

            Duo shook his head and fixed his black beret (cuz he don't wear blue) and argued,  "But Heero's…."

            The distant sound of gunfire sounded within the mansion.  The Preventers looked towards the stairs.

            "What…. What is it?"  Trowa asked to himself.  "Why am I talking like a retard??!!?"  he mumbled to himself.

            Zechs assumed and answered,  "Maybe it's…Heero." He fixed his shades and started to style his long platinum hair.

            "Oh no, Heero could be hurt!!  We have to do something!"  Duo whined like a girl for NO apparent reason. "??!?!? Huh?!"

            Trowa stood up from the staircase and suggested,  "We should go look for Heero.  Heero's our old partner, you know…….??!?!?!"

            "Ooookay, Trowa."  Duo started to follow the tall teen towards the left side of the main hall, where they found a door.

            As they started to go through the door, Zechs decided to give orders.  "Trowa, Duo, could you search for Heero through that door?"

            The younger Preventers just glared at and yelled,  "That's what we're doing!!!"

            "OH!!!  My bad.  Carry on. Report anything suspicious to me."

            "….himbo…."  Trowa grumbled under his breath.

            Before they could enter the other side of the door Zechs yelled for NO apparent reason, "STAY ALERT!"

            "aaah!!!  Stop that shit!!!"  Duo yelled in response to his leader's sudden outburst.  "You're sudden random outburst of the obvious are NOT cool!!!"

            "…..indeed."  Zechs replied.

**SLAM!!!**

            Trowa and Duo found themselves in the Dining Hall.  They started to walk down the hall on separate sides of the elongated table.  There were fancy plates and shiny silverware placed all over the table.  The candles were still lit.

            "This must be the Dining Hall…."  Trowa announced much to his frustration.  _I've got to get out of this house---- It's making me STUPID!_

            At the end of the grandiose table, they came across a pool of red liquid.  Trowa knelt down and uttered rather loudly,  "What….IS this!"

            "It's B-BLOOD??!?!"  Duo stammered clutching his beret.  "Oh gawd I hate that stuff!!!"

            "??!?!"  Trowa started to ignore Duo and speak.  "I hope this is not… Heero's blood."

            Duo chuckled,  "I doubt it.  He would've had himself stitched up after losing the first 2 or 3 pints, I swear that guy…."

            "…..This is true…"  Trowa admitted. "Hey Duo, do me a favor and check what behind that other door."

            Duo stopped talking. "….why?!"

            "Because, I'm going to examine this."  Trowa pointed to the pool of blood.

            "But…. It's blood… we know this already…."

            "Well, I want to examine this some more…. Leave me!"

            Duo adjusted his beret and slowly turned towards the door.  "Oooookay… creepy boy…"

            As the Shinagami left the room, Trowa continued to stare at the blood.  Suddenly his nose picked up a scent,  "Hmmmm?!" he sounded softly.  He dipped his long finger in the liquid, sniffed it again, then TASTED it.  "What the Hell?!?  This is Hawaiian Punch!!?"

            Duo strolled down the hall, spinning his Berretta handgun around his finger, a STUPID thing he likes to do.  He spotted a door on the opposite side of the hallway.  When he went to open it, the door was locked.  He spotted a note under the doorknob.  He picked it up.  

The note read: 

**It is locked.**

The Braided Wonder crumbled the stickie in his hand and tossed it aside.  "Well, DUH!"  He exclaimed, making a goofy face.  He soon heard a strange sound coming from the end of the hallway, around the corner.  "What the…."

He trailed the slurping, munching sound around the corner and came across ANOTHER person.  "Hey!!!"  He cheered expecting to receive a warm and equal reply.  Instead he heard MORE slurping and munching.  Annoyed Duo peered over the person's shoulders and realized he was eating some other guy's head.  "Ohhhhh Daaaaaaamn!!!"

The Zombie suddenly snatched the victim's head off, sending it rolling across the floor and hitting a wall.  He slowly turned around and stared at Duo.  Brains and blood were oozing out of his decayed mouth. Then he started to stand up….

"SHIIIIT!!!"  Duo hollered as he took off towards the door he came from.  "Trowa!!!"  He sounded weakly as he stood in front of the exited door.  "Trowa…."

Trowa stood up and turned around.  "What's wrong with you?"  He noticed his expression and asked,  "What did you do now?"

Duo raced over to Trowa and hid behind the taller boy.  The door in front of them started to open.  "Kill it!!!  Kill it!!!"

"Kill what?!"  Trowa asked pulling him off his arm.  "You are such a---"

The zombie busted through the door and went traipsing towards the two Preventers.  Duo ran around the table, screaming like a bitch.  Trowa took aim with his customized Magnum and fired.

SPLAT!!!  The headshot was a success!  

Trowa calmly placed the gun in his holster and exhaled,  "That guy was insane."  He looked down the dining hall and called out,  "Are you alright, Duo?!"

Duo peeked out from under the table and replied,  "Yes!  Thanx Trowa!"

Trowa looked down at the decapitated zombie and asked,  "WHAT….is this?!"  He shook his head in disbelief… at his own stupid words.

"We should report this to Zechs!"

"Right…." Trowa nodded and followed after Duo towards the main hall. "Let's go find Zechs. Zechs is our old captain, y'know?"

"Yeah, man, whatever."


	2. The House of the Stupid

Chapter 2: The House of the Stupid

(NO ONE IN THIS FANFIC IS OWNED BY ME!!!)

Trowa and Duo raced out to the main hall only to see that Zechs was gone…

"Oh no!!!"  Duo exclaimed whining AGAIN.  "Now it's Zechs' turn to disappear!"

"What---What IS this?!"  Trowa blurted out for NO apparent reason.  

Duo turned to Trowa,  "What is what?!"

"Oh, don't mind me…. Gaaah!!!"  he yelled in annoyance.  "I hate this place!!!"  He shook himself together and came up with an idea.  "Duo, I'll check around here,  you go look around the staircase."

Duo arched his brow in stupefaction,  "But… why, dude?"

Trowa seemed puzzled as well,  "Just check around the staircase back there.  I'll look around here."

"What are you on?!" Duo yelled in bafflement.  "You know he's NOT in this room!  Why would he hide behind the staircase?! What's WRONG with YOU!?"

"Check BEHIND the staircase!!" The Unibanged Wonder demanded as he pointed the Magnum in Duo's face.  "I am NOT stupid!!!!  I am THOROUGH!"

Seconds later….

Duo jogged up to Trowa and huffed,  "THERE!!!  Are you HAPPY?  I AM!"

"You sarcasm will only get you killed around me, Mr. Maxwell."  Trowa warned The Braided One with a frown.  "Did you find anything?"

"?!?!?"

"…I see…"  Trowa rubbed his hairless chin and spoke.  "We should split up and look for Zechs and Heero, Okay?"

Duo shook his head,  "No way!!!"

"It would be dangerous for us to stick together.  We should split up!"

"Is it just me or does walking around a mansion infested with ZOMBIES and their DOGS a BAD-FUCKING-IDEA?"

            "You're right."  Trowa admitted.  He reached in his pocket and gave Duo a warped out paper clip and wire.  "Here, Duo take this with you.  I am sure you the Master of Unlocking can use it…" He then concluded by saying, "Besides that thing was stabbing me in the ass the entire trip over here."

            Duo just stared at him,  "Uhm… **Correction**: I'm the **Shinagami**---**God of Death**. I am not the **Master of Unlocking- and Holding Things That Stab You in the Ass**.."  He concluded by asking, "**Dude, WHAT the HELL ARE YOU ON?!"**

Trowa stared at Duo,  "…" _Gawd, this HOUSE!  This BLOODY house is making ME STUUUUUUUUPID!!!!_

Duo fixed his beret and stomped around,  "**ALRIGHT!!!** That's it!  Trowa Barton! You picked a **PERFECT** time to go on some wild shit and **NOT** hook me up!!!  I ask again: **WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON?!??!**"  Duo went to ranting,  " I mean ever since you entered this house, you've been doing and saying the most **OFF DA WALL** shit ever!!! Your I.Q. level has dropped from **Genius** to **Jelly** within seconds of being here!!!"

Trowa admitted,  "**I know THAT!!!  I keep wishing I had a beard!! I want to wear stupid, red fishing gear vest with camouflage pants, and say things that are SO obvious  and not needed.  It's this house!  It's sucking the brain functions right out of me!!!! You know---Gah!!!  I don't say shit like this**!!!!"

Duo cautiously walked over to Trowa and patted him on the back,  "Relax, buddy.  As soon as we find the others, we can call Wufei and leave.  Okay Trowa?"

"Just call me Barry, you know?!"

Duo let out a scream.  Trowa started crying.

Heero realized he was lost within the Parasol Mansion.  He doesn't know how it happened, either.  He just went shellshock all the way upstairs and blasted through a door and went on a shooting spree.  The rest tends to go blank after that.

He stalked downs stairs to find a door across the hall.  Heero also heard a gang of zombies headed his way.  He also realized he was running low on ammo.

The first zombie came staggering around the corner groaning at him in a hungered rage.  Heero sniped him.  Zombie head went POP!

The second and third zombies were waiting for the Perfect Soldier around the corner past the door.  With a strong swing of the empty sniper rifle, Heero managed to knock BOTH their heads off.

Three zombies were clambering upon the floor, ready to gnaw on his LUGZ steel-toed boots. SMASH!!! SPLAT!!! GWASH!!!  Their heads made a most nasty sound when he calmly yet brutally stomped, kicked, and crushed their heads under his heavy boots.

Now five zombies came scurrying towards Heero.  He took out his Eagle, which happen to have 5 bullets left, and opened fire.  He blasted each one through the right eye.  Kicking them to the side, he roundhouse kicked another zombie lunging towards him, from the shadows around another corner.  

As for the other 10 zombies approaching from another hallway… well after running out of ammo with his two favorite guns he had no other choice but to PISTOL WHIP them mercilessly….

**30 minutes later…**

            Heero was standing in a pool of smelly, congealed blood, NONE of it his. If any thing came from the former Wing pilot, it was sweat.  He was exhausted after bludgeoning ghouls to another level of death…

            He remembered the mysterious door he spotted earlier on his trek.  He headed there…

            Quatre Raberba Winner, Preventers Medic, was fast asleep in his own little fortress under the stairs.  He had the door bolted and blocked off by a large storage bin.  To add more weight, he even placed a corner table upon it.  Quatre did think the typewriter built upon the table was a bit odd, but since it added more weight he didn't care.  

            If ANYthing could move the heavily supported door, it would have to be inhuman… or Superman.  No one could get to him.  He was safe---

            **Emphasis on WAS!!!**

The door!!!!  The stupid door and ALL the stuff covering it were moving.  The storage bin was slowly sliding to the side, while the typewriter table was rocking back and forth and began to fall…

"OWCH!!!!"  The Blonde Medic squealed in the darkness.  He freaked out when he realized what was going on.  "Oh MY gawd!!!!  Something's trying to get me!!!"

            "….hn…."  Heero groaned.  The door was heavy, as if being blocked.  He pushed with ALL his might…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!"  Quatre screamed.  He was NOT going to die in a tiny room without a fight.  As soon as the door swung open, Quatre took out his knife and went for the kill….

            Hearing a girl's screamed Heero reacted.  _Some girl must be trapped.  I gotta save her.  Must complete the mission to rescue hostages!_ "HN!!!"  He groaned, knocking the door and all the stuff behind it out of the way.  Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder.  "WHAT?!?"

            Infuriated, Heero went for the neck and slammed the assailant into a wall across the tiny room.

            "OOPH!!!"  Quatre sounded as he made a dent in the wall, dropping the knife.  "Heee-eeeelp!!!!"

             "Help?!"  Heero questioned.  He dropped the body and searched for the light switch.  When he noticed a small boy lying on the floor coughing and gagging, Heero felt a bit guilty.  "Uhm… sorry, kid."

            Quatre staggered to his feet and sighed in relief that Heero was a human--- and a Preventer as well.  "Oh--- thank Allah, you're here!"  He started coughing again.

            Heero stepped towards him and smacked him in the back.  Quatre fell to the floor.  Heero picked the boy up and sat him on the cot in the corner of the room.  "Uh, sorry about that."

            The blonde smiled,  "Oh, it's okay!  It happens all the time!"

            "???"  Heero continued by asking,  "You must be the newcomer: Quatre, right?"

            The Blonde Arabian nodded.

            "What happened to rest of the Alpha Team, Quatre?"

            Quatre stopped moving altogether.  He was terrified.  He was becoming pale(r)…..?

            "Bad things, huh?"

            The Noble Medic nodded,  "Alex and Mueller forced me to leave Dorothy when she got bit…."

            Heero's Prussian eyes widened,  "Commander Dorothy got bitten?  Where is she?"

            "I don't know. I tried to help her but… but they pulled me away…."

            "Alex and Mueller?"  Heero realized.  "Were you being ambushed?"

            "They figured to leave her as bait, to distract the zombies from us.  They were planning to do the same to me, in case things got… rough.  They didn't want to waste ammo."

            Heero growled,  "The cowards.  It's not like we're taking on a legion of mobile suits—they are just walking dead people!  How can this be a problem?"

            Quatre gawked at Heero in disbelief.

            "What?"

            "You haven't seen the other things, have you?"

            "Are they dead as well?"

"I suppose… but—"

            Heero turned around and uttered,  "I can handle it."  He spotted the storage bin and opened it.  "That knife's only going to make the killing messy.  You want a gun?"  He tossed his emptied Eagle at Quatre, who barely caught it.

            "Th-thanx!" Quatre replied morbidly at his words.

            "Here's some ammo."  Heero tossed a few boxes at Quatre.

            "Ow!!!"

            "….Sorry…"

            Quatre shook his head,  "Hey!!!  It should me apologizing!  I stabbed you in the shoulder!!"

            Heero shrugged,  "Oh, that….  It's no big deal.  Happens **all** the time."

            "???"

            Duo and Trowa decided that splitting up was a good thing.  That way Trowa can go insane by his damn self, and Duo can just be… Duo.  As Preventer 003 headed upstairs, Preventer 002 continued exploring the low ground….

            The Shinagami walked into a bizarre room with a green statue dead in the center of the room.  _What a silly place to put a statue_.  He thought.  He made another observation.  _Hey!!!  I think it's a map up there!!!_  He stated mentally, noticing the roll of paper in the sculptured bowl.  

            "It's too friggin high!!!"  He huffed jumping and stretching for the map.  He stopped.  He knew he looked silly doing that.  So he decided to regain his kewl points by just knocking the green art piece over.  CRASH!!!!  "That oughta wake the dead!"  Duo came up with a sick thought of zombies and their ugly dogs. _Note to Shinagami: Scratch that saying._

            He kicked the pieces of art aside and picked up the map.  He continued to explore the area behind the red curtain.  He noticed a corpse lying upon the floor.  _Poor guy_. He thought as he continued to check out the items on the shelves.  A few art supplies, some brushes----"HEY!" he yanked the two magazines of ammo.  _HEY!  The bullets are compatible with **this** gun._ "Suh-weet!"

            "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!"  Moaned a zombie crawling from behind.  He grabbed Duo's leg and started to bite down.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!!!!  This are $200 armored boots!!!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!"  Duo screamed.

            He kicked snatched his designer boot away from the zombie's infested mouth and began to kick at it.  The zombie grabbed the other leg, causing Duo to fall to the floor next to him.  

            Duo screamed again.  He scurried towards the red curtain exit, but the zombie was still holding on to his legs.  Duo continued to wriggle, kick and struggle for all it was worth, keeping the zombie's mouth at bay. 

            As soon as he took out his gun, Duo began to pound the zombie in his head with the handle.  He also started punching the hell out of it with his free hand… ALL while screaming like a bitch…

            5 minutes later…

            Duo Maxwell came to the realization that the bloody mess on the floor between his feet, was no longer a threat to his life… or boots.  He got up from the floor and stumbled through the red curtain.

            He continued through the door, opposite of the main hall door.  Duo walked down a slim hallway, lined with displays of weird stuff.  He also spotted some more ammo magazines----JUST for his gun!  He happily trotted down the hallway until a zombie dog came flying through the window, opposite the displays.  He raced after Duo who calmly turned around and shot its legs off.  Then he finished by shooting the head off.

            "Woo-Ha!"  Duo exclaimed reloading his gun. He continued to walk.

            CRASH!!!  Another dog came through another window.

            "Ho-Hum…." Duo gestured a yawn before shooting the second zombie mutt in the same fashion.  He continued to walk…

            Soon another dog came smashing through yet another window.

            "Oh jeeeeeezuz….  You gotta be kiddin' me!!!"  He groaned as he put the gun away and marched towards the charging creature.  He served a nasty front kick to the dog's head, knocking it off.  "BEOTCH!!!"

            He continued to walk….

            As soon as he came across another window… the last window, he stopped.  He turned towards the window and opened fire.  As the glass broke, he heard several zombie dogs whimpering and yelping their last….

            "You guys are SO not scary anymore, guys…." Duo sighed.  When he finished shooting EVERY zombie dog that lurked outside the mansion, he left the hallway… and continued to walk.

            Heero and Quatre were upstairs, armed to the teeth, thanks to the storage bin stuffed with enough ammo and weaponry to kill an army.  When one is armed like a walking tank, this creepy mansion isn't all that scary… anymore.  Together, the two would-be hunters found all kinds of silly, and otherwise useless items like keys, documents, and diaries…. 

Just HOW many people ACTUALLY use those things, anyway?!  The diaries were basically the same; Parasol employee worked here, got infected here, and lastly DIED here---How sad… 

            at least to Quatre.

            "Oh the poor guy!  Heero, the company wanted to visit his family and the wouldn't let him…."  The Preventer Newbie called out to Heero.  "You gotta read this!" he suggested holding up the diary.

            Heero was paying attention to the fancy Zippo lighter he found on the bookshelf.  He also found another pack of rifle ammo—Oh joy!  Where in his multiple pockets, is The Perfect One, gonna stuff these?

            The two Preventers busted into one of the spare sleeping quarters of the Parasol researchers.  It basically consisted of a two beds, a bookshelf, desk, and closet, behind the desk…

            Quatre's standing at the desk, reading the diary. Meanwhile, Heero's on the other side of the room, playing with the lighter….  Both are OBLIVIOUS to lurking danger….

            Heero uttered in one long breath, "Let me guess, Quatre: The researcher soon got sick, and he feels that this is the last entry he will write.  He hopes someone will read this and realize that Parasol is a crooked corporation that's plotting to further bastardize the medical field with their fiendish human and animal experimentation…. Blah-blah-blah."

            "…. Meanie!"  Quatre made a face and continued to read.  His childlike face began to contort as he read on: "_'Bob walked in. Face ugly.  Me eat ear.' _" Quatre commented,  "First he's writing like an adult, but now he's writing like a… toddler.  What's this?"  Quatre turned the page and continued,  " 'Itchy. Tasty.'  Hide. Door. Back. Tasty.' "   Quatre placed the diary upon the desk and spoke out to his superior,  "Heero, this last entry is rather odd.  Wonder what he means by Hide, Door, Back?"

            Finished investigating and jacking EVERY bit of ammo and healing herb he could find; Heero decided to respond to Quatre about the diary. He blurted out of total randomness,   "I don't know, kid. Maybe he's hiding behind the closet door behind you. Let's go."  He turned around to head towards the exiting door----

            CRASH!!!!  A zombie came crashing through the closet door. With lightning speed, Quatre went running towards Heero.  The zombie hurried after him.  Quatre took cover behind Heero.  Heero just stood there.  As the zombie approached Heero placed the Eagle into the zombie's mouth and fired.  The headless zombie went flying into the wall.

            "Gawd, I love enhanced weaponry."  He muttered to himself with a smirk.  He looked back at Quatre, who was now perched upon the bookshelf, like a cat and asked,  "Are you OK, Quatre?"

            Quatre fell from the bookshelf, landing with a thud.  He stood up, dusted himself off, and replied,  "I'm fine, sir.  I am sorry."

            "We both need to be aware of our surroundings.  Let's go."

            "Alright!"  Quatre cheered as he saluted Heero.

            "Stop that!"

            "….'Kay."

            Duo found himself upstairs, above the main hall.  He cautiously traipsed towards the eastern door across the area.  Suddenly he heard someone opening a door…

            "Trowa?"  He called out, hoping it was him.

            "Duo?  Is that you, Duo?"

            "Oh Trowa!"  He cheered.  He slapped himself for sounding so... WHINY!

            The Tall Teen stepped through the same door as Duo.  He strolled over to him and spoke,  "I thought I told you to stay downstairs?"

            "Oh, I'm sorry. I got bored and figured my chances of getting attacked would be much better up here!"  He uttered sarcastically.  "This is SO boring! Have you seen Heero and Zechs?"

            "No, I have not seen them. Get sarcastic with me, young man, and I will beat you like the Church SHOULD have, got it!"  Trowa growled, leering down at his smaller comrade.  

            "…. yeah, man. Whatever you say, sir."  Duo gulped.

            Trowa sighed,  "Okay.  Since you're up here, you **disobedient whippersnapper**, you can help me explore more of the upstairs area.  Let's split and see what we can find."

            "Great plan, sir."

            Trowa glared,  "…"

            "Oh, hey!!!  Excellent!  Excellent!"  he cracked a smile and forced a chuckle.  "But seriously, don't you think it's kinda dangerous splitting up, again?"

            The Mute One blinked and responded by saying, "For you: **Yeah**.  For me: **No**."

            Duo gasped at his calm, yet cold reply,  "B-but why!?"

            "Cuz, I have this…" Trowa cocked his CUSTOM MAGNUM and brandished his weapon in Duo's face.  "All I need is this and ALL the Magnum rounds I hogged up at the Police Station."

            "You took out the whole supply?!"

            "Hell yeah!"  Trowa stopped smiling and handed Duo something else from the depths of his pockets.  "You can have **this**!" He announced as he handed Duo some ammo rounds…. For a gun he DIDN'T have YET!!!

            "…The FUCK?!?!?  Where's the damn WEAPON?!?!"

            Trowa shrugged,  "The hell should I know.  Why don't you go look for it."  Trowa laughed and left through the same door he came from.  "Good Luck!  You'll need it!"  He sounded through the door…. Still laughing.

            "What an asshole!"

            From behind the closed door,  "WHAT?!"

            "Uh… NOTHING!"

            "……….Thought so."


	3. Zombie Horror # 5

Chapter 3: Zombie Horror #5

(STILL NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME!)

            Duo Maxwell continued across the upstairs walkway and into the room that caught his eye earlier.

He found himself staring down a dimly lit hallway and sighed.  He continued.  As he spotted the blood stains along the wall he got tense.  When he peered out to the outdoor balcony and spotted the crows flying around he got nervous.  When he strolled through the mass of black, fallen feathers, and came across a dead body, he got HORRIFED.

            "Oh No! Alpha Team's: Sniper Mueller!!"  He gasped clasping his hands over his mouth… like a girl.  He slapped himself silly for doing that.  "Oh shit!  They got Mueller?!"  He continued to observe the gruesome corpse.  Then he spotted the Grenade Launcher.  "Suh-Weet!"  He quickly yanked it out of his putrefied grasp.  "It won't do you ANY good sitting here with that Loser!  Come to Daddy-Duo!"  He quickly looked over the barely used weapon and brandished it.  

            As he flipped it over, he noticed a bright yellow stickie.  He snatched it off and read it:

            **Will you take the Grenade Launcher?  **

            Duo made a face,  "Duh!  Hell's Yeah!"  He got ready to reload the gun and another stickie popped out of the barrel.  It read:

            **Are you sure?**

            "What the Fu….  OF COURSE I'M SURE, Maaaaaaaan!!!"  He imitated Chris Tucker.

            Suddenly the corpse of Mueller lifted his head and howled,  "Then DIIIIIIIIIE!!!!"

            "aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiye!!!!"  Duo screamed (bitch-ass-style).

            He took off to the hallway door.  Mueller the Zombie went sprinting after him.  Duo crashed through the walkway door and slid down the main hall stairway.  The zombie flipped over the stairway and met him at the bottom.  Duo used those expensive combat boots and smashed him in the face!  He landed on top of Mueller and scrambled off.  Mueller the Zombie tried to grab his leg but received another boot to the head, before Duo went hauling through the Dining Halll room….

            "Give me back that Grenade Launcher!!!!"  Mueller the Zombie howled.  "It's mine you cheap bastard!  You should've bought it at the Gun and Knife Show last week!!!!  You Fool!!!  Your soul is MINE!!!!"

            Duo burst through the Dining Hall Doors and went tearing down the area on top of the fancy table.  He jumped down at the end only to bust HIS ASS upon the 'blood' spill on the floor.  He landed with a heavy THUMPCK!  Everything hurt…

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!! I broke my AAAAAAAAASS!"  He screamed.  Reaching for his Grenade Launcher and his beret, he quickly regained footing----BARELY.  That 'blood' was awfully slippery for blood.  "What----WHOA!!  The hell----Ack!"  he voiced fighting for balance.  

            "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuo!!!!!  I will EAT YOUR SOUL!"  Muller the Zombie echoed at the opposite end of the hallway!"  He went running across the table, yanking up a butter knife and going for the kill.  He leaped into the air and went to lance down at Duo.

            "Oh Hell!"  Duo gasped as he released the table and went sliding through the hallway door, TOTALLY destroying it! He went crashing into the corridor wall. "OW!"

            The super zombie landed on the pool of 'blood', SLIPPED, STABBED HIMSELF IN THE EYE WITH THE BUTTER KNIFE, BROKE HIS NECK, and dropped a key…."uuuuuuuuUUUUuuunh… Duuuuuo…. you're….. An….. aaaaaaaasshole….." he groaned his last.

            Duo staggered to his feet, shook the stars out of his head and grinned,  "I'm also the asshole with **YOUR** $3000 Grenade Launcher---Hoo-Hah!"  He crept near the zombie, Grenade Launcher at aim, and swiped the key.  "Bye now!"

            Meanwhile, Heero and Quatre walked through the gallery room doors and found themselves back at the Main Hall.  The both released an annoyed groan before strolling towards the Dining Hall.  The totally demolished dining ware upon the table seemed new.  When they approached the end of the table, Quatre quickly recognized the newly placed corpse.

            "That's Sniper Mueller!"  Quatre exclaimed, clasping his hands over his mouth.  

            Heero just stared at him… **strangely**.  "Don't **EVER** do that again, Quatre."

            Quatre nodded,  "So sorry." He cleared his throat and yelled,  "OH SHIT!  Mueller got FUCKED up!"

            Heero nodded,  "Excellent."  He kicked the body to the side and noticed the pool of Hawaiian Punch, now mixed with rotten zombie blood.  "Looks like he and some other destructive jerk slipped on this juice."

            "It's ALL my fault I was drinking Hawaiian Punch from my medkit and dropped it when we were attacked."

            "Well, it seems like you may have save the first person's life."  He pointed towards the now demolished door leading to the hallway.  "Or caused him to bust his ass and make a narrow escape THRU the door."

            "I hope he's alive!"

            "If it's Trowa---**Yeah**.  If it's Duo---**No**."

            Quatre's puppy-dog eyes lit up,  "TROWA'S HERE?  He's SO KEWL!!!  Oh boy!!!!"

            Heero glared at him…. Oddly,  "Yeah, he's somewhere.  He's gotta be alive---if Duo survived this scene."

            Quatre followed Heero down the hallway.  Heero had already been through this area, but he never could figure out the room with the piano.  He didn't learn how to play piano music.  The **200 Ways to Kill a Person with a Spoon** seminar seemed SO much more entertaining…. Sigh.

            The Lone Preventers entered the Lounge Room.  Heero strolled around the piano and grunted,  "Hn!  I know there's a secret to this fruity room--- dealing with **this** piano---but I can't figure it out."

            The Blonde Boy came up with a suggestion,  "Hmm… maybe you have to play a certain song—like a classic—to reveal a secret."

            "Hn."  Heero sat down at the piano.  The only thing he could remotely play was 'Chopsticks'.  Before he could give the tune-less performance of a lifetime, Quatre interrupted him.

            "STOP!"

            "What?"

            "I found this sheet music!  I can play the piano!"

            "Really?"

            "Yeah! I took that seminar on **Playing Pianos To Reveal Secrets in Fruity Rooms**!"

            "Hn?" he stared… strangely at Quatre.  This happens quite often.  "Quatre, don't share that with **anyone** else, alright?"

            "Okay, sir."

            "Good kid."  Heero replied.  He got up from the bench and gestured for Quatre to take a seat.  "Go for it."

            Quatre saluted him,  "Alrigh!  I'll do my best, SIR!"  He placed the sheet music upon the sheet rack on top of the grand piano.  Scanned over the notes and smiled,  "Oh boy!  It's my fave!  Missy Elliot: **_Get Your Freak On_**!"

            Heero arched a brow,  "What?"

            "Yeah, this is SO kewl!"  He started to play.  Sure enough, the piano range the tune of Missy Elliot's hit single.  Quatre actually actually began to rap to the tune.  

            Heero slowly shook his head, yet he could not help but sway…. VERY slowly, to the catchy tune.  Suddenly the wall beside him started to rumble and slid up, revealing a secret room. Before Quatre could tune and catch him swaying… VERY slowly, Heero jumped down from the counter and entered the secret room.

            He took out the wooden shield, he snagged from over the fireplace in the Dining Hall.  He quickly switched it with the gold shield on the pedestal in the secret room.  This was good, because Quatre was silly enough to stand directly under the would-be crushing piece of wall.  Heero calmly walked out with the Gold Shield.

            "I got an idea…" he uttered.

            Quatre followed his superior officer out to the Dining Hall.  They both contorted their faces in confusion as they noticed that the gory zombified body of Mueller was gone.  They were a tad shocked to see that the floor had been cleaned and the table was put back in place.

            "That's odd…" Heero commented before solving YET another useless puzzle in the Parasol Mansion. 

            As soon as the shield was put in place,  they heard a loud click within the walls.  Suddenly the distant grandfather clock shook and moved to the side, revealing yet another key to the mansion.  Both Preventers groaned in infuriation as they approached the useless item.

            Duo found himself in a strange room, a waiting room. It wasn't the fancy furnishings that caught his eye….

            "Hey!!! A shotgun!  Well I'll Be!" he smiled as he snatched the gun from its holders and walked off.  NEVERMIND the LOUD clicking noise echoing through the walls….

            Trowa Burt---ERRR Barton was leaving about the head upstairs and bus caps into more zombies when he heard a certain Braided Baka screaming like a bitch.

            "Oh bother."  He hissed heading BACK through the path he emerged from.

            "Duo." Trowa's voice sounded from behind the door of the CRUSHING ROOM.

            "Trowa!  Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp!  The ceiling is about to crush me!!!"

            "Move to the side.  I'm shooting the knob off."

            "O-okay!"  He did as he was told.

            Soon enough Trowa blasted that Magnum into the knob.  It and the WHOLE door was no more.  Duo came scurrying out.  He wrapped himself around his leg and clung for dear life.

            "Get OFF of my leg.  What's with EVERYONE harassing my leg!?"

            Duo peeled himself off the lengthy limb and joked,  "I'm sorry. I will learn to control these animalistic urges when I'm looking at your leg—"

            "…"

            "I'm sorry!  I'm just kidding--- Thanks for saving my life!  I owe you one!"

            "You were almost a Duo-Sandwich…." _NOT AGAIN!!!_

            "…." Duo had to stare at him for saying that.  "I REALLY DON'T wanna know WHAT you mean by that, but let's just split up and explore the mansion."

            Trowa blinked "Okay."  He started to leave. Then he turned back around and spoke,  "Y'know you could've save yourself a lot of stress if you just replaced the gun with the broken one."

            Duo's eyes bugged out,  "Really?"  Then he got angered,  "HEY!!!  Why didn't you get!?"

            "Cuz…. I have—"

            Duo waved his hands in frustration,  "ENOUGH!!!  I know: YOU HAVE THAT!"

            "Indeed."  Trowa started to walk off.

            "Thanx, Trowa!"

            "….yeah, yeah… HIMBO…."

            Heero and Quatre found themselves staring at the beginning of YET another BLOODY puzzle.  The message on the door said something about the Moons and Suns meeting with the Wind and Sea for tea…  Heero and Quatre were INFURIATED.

            "McGuyver-Time."  Heero announced lowly, glaring at the door coldly.  "Hand me the first aid cans…. Ammo, lighter, and the last of that juice bottle."

            "Huh?!"

            "I'm making a homemade bomb--- with enough kick to match C4 or get real close to it."

            "Uh… alright…."

            Duo came across another door.  This one underneath the staircase Trowa disappeared to.  He read the note along the wall beside the door.  It read:

            **Duo,**

**                        Seeing how you ****SUCK at this survival horror, I've decided to help you out a little.  In the spare room, you'll find some enhanced PB ammo for that SUCKY handgun.  I even pick-pocketed the dead for some acid rounds for that SUCKY grenade launcher of yours.  Oh yeah I left you some shotgun shells for that SUCKY excuse of a weapon you ALMOST died over.  DON'T STARE AT ME LIKE THAT!  I just DON'T want the responsibility of having to tell  Hilde YOU'RE dead because you SUCK!**

**                                                                                    PS:  I left some herbs for you as well.**

"Oh yeah!"  Duo exclaimed.  He continued to read:

PS2: The herbs are for HEALING not for SMOKING! Use them wisely, Duo, WISELY!

**                                                                        TB.**

            Duo sighed,  "Awwwwwww Maaaaaaaaaan!!!!"

            Suddenly a loud explosion echoed throughout the mansion, shaking the floor under Duo.  He hurried inside the Spare room.  He slumped against the door and breathed deeply.

            "Please gawd, let that be Heero, causing massive destruction to the mansion, and not some Super Zombie armed with a Missile Launcher…."

            It was indeed Duo's lucky night, for Heero was causing massive property damage to the Parasol Mansion, by way of a powerful homemade explosive.  Not only did the door get obliterated, but the outdoor corridor was pretty much ruined.  Good thing Heero and Quatre decided to take cover in the art gallery room within the mansion.  They were safe inside, even thought the impact of the powerful explosive knock the door off its hinges.  The crows that were perched along the walls, had suddenly dropped dead due to the shock and the sudden loud noise the explosion made.  

            Heero stood over Quatre after shielding the younger Preventer from the shock.  He removed his earplugs and pulled Quatre to his feet.  "You alright?"

            "What?"

            "Are you alright."  He said louder.

            "Huh?!"

            "Hn."  He snatched the spare earplugs from Quatre's ear's and asked in simpler form, "Are you okay?"

            "Am I gay?!"  Quatre misinterpreted.  "What kind of question is that to ask?!  Are you hazing me?!"

            "Hn… let's just go."

            "Why did you call me a hoe?!" Quatre sniffled.  "You're hazing me aren't you?!"

            "…." Heero stared.  _This is ONLY temporary.  This is ONLY temporary. Please let this be temporary_. "Follow me."

            "What?!"

            "COME WITH ME, Quatre!"

            "Wha?! On your knee?  What are you saying?  Are you hitting on me?"

            "Grrrrr." At his wits end, Heero just snatched the boy by the arm and dragged him along.  "Come on."

            "Corn dogs!  I love corn dogs!  They are so yummy!"

            "Hn?"

            Back to Duo Maxwell's Romp in Zombie Mansion….

            The Shinagami entered a beautifully decorateded marble walled corridor.  To his delight he also found more of the herbs Trowa told him NOT to smoke.  He quickly collected the 'healing' herbs and skipped around the corner. In his search for more herbs he came across another dead body…

            "Oh man, not this again!"  He groaned cautiously.  He spotted another kewl weapon in the body's hand:  An assault rifle!  "Oooooh!  Weapon!  I want! I want!"

            "Over my dead body, Duo!"  The body muttered.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAiye!!!!"

            "Stop screaming like a fruity chick, you putz!"  The fallen soldier scolded.  "It's me Alex!"

            Duo stopped screaming.  He looked closely at the bloodied man and nodded,  "Oh yeah!  Alex!  The 3rd ranking Sniper.  He looked over Alex's wounds and gasped,  "You got MUCKED up, buddy!  You gonna die soon?"

            Alex coughed,  "You ass!  I'm not dead yet!"

            "Well, the gaped opened, pulsating, bleeding, LARGE bite mark says otherwise." Duo commented out loud.  "Can I have the weapon?"

            "No!"  Alex snapped, coughing up more blood.  "This is nothing, it's the poison that's doing this!"

            Duo placed his hands over his mouth and shook his head,  "Poison!"

            "I forgot to take the serum with me.  Could you go get it for me?"

            "Where is it!?"  Duo asked eagerly, scanning the narrow hallway. He spotted the door further down the path.  "In there?"

            "No, it's on the other side of the mansion, in a spare room."

            Duo gave Alex an incredulous glare,  "Hmph!  Give me a break buddy!  I'm NO doctor and I can tell--- YOU'RE A GONER!  I'm not wasting my time and precious ammo just to come back here to your corpse."  He stood up and aimed his handgun at Alex.  "Let's just make this quick shall we?"

            Alex coughed some more and yelled,  "You idiot!  You heartless BASTARD!"

            Duo clicked the gun,  "That's the God of Death to you! Stop your whining, Alex! Accept your fate." He replied with a grim smirk.

            "Alright!  Since you want this gun so bad!  Take it!  But it's empty.  You'll have to enter the room behind that door to get more ammo."  He noticed Duo's doubtful expression and added,   "By the time I realized that I ran out of ammo, it was too late, the poison had taken effect.  Since you're gonna kill me, do it with MY prized weapon.  Not that SUCKY handgun!"

            Duo lowered his aim and considered it.  "Well, it'll be messy, but fun!  Okay!  I'll go do that!  I'll be right back!  Stay alive, until I come back and kill you!" Duo hurried off and left through the door.

            "… sucker……"  Alex smiled before dying.

            Duo entered the dusty, old attic.  He hurried around the large boxes in search of ammo, and found… nothing.  Realizing he was tricked Duo puffed,  "That's it!  I'm taking out the knife and I'm SLITTING his throat!  Then I'll piss on him!"  He snickered to himself before headed towards the exit.

            "HsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" sounded something VERY large behind him.

            Duo DID NOT want to turn around…. But he did.  He found himself staring into the face of a VERY HUGE ZOMBIE ANACONDA!!!

            "……………………………………………………………….!!!!"  

            Before Duo could act the snake had coiled around him and bit into his side.  Duo grunted in excruciating pain, as he felt his blood oozing from his very being.  The poison was burning through his system at an alarming rate. Fortunately, whatever mutation the snake had went through had altered his behavioral patterns when trapping prey, for it wasn't REALLY constricting him---more like holding him…. FOR ANOTHER BITE!  The Wounded God of Death freed one of his arms and punched the serpentine zombie in the eye, before it could come down and take another bite.    As the beast hissed and snarled, Duo grabbed for his combat knife. He STABBED the beast in the blackened eye, several times.

            The Zombie anaconda instantly dropped Duo and slithered away.  Meanwhile Duo crawled towards the door.

            Blood was seeping out of Duo's body at an alarming rate.  This was probably because of the poison.  The God of Death was about to become a victim of Death himself?!?!  In total ire, Duo continued to carry on,  he crept towards the door to the marbled hallway.  He was gonna kick Alex's ass for leading him to his death.  One way or another he was taking SOMEONE with him.  He tried to prop himself against the wall to reach the nearby door, but his vision began to blur…. Things started to get darker and….

            A few minutes later, Trowa strolled in.  He had already seen what the snake had done to Alex… he was practically digested.  He stepped over the purple blob and came across Duo, halfway through the door further from Alex.  He was barely breathing, but still alive.

            He knelt down beside him and sighed,  "You went after SOMETHING with THAT?" He snatched the combat knife out of Duo's flimsy hand and tossed it aside.  He took out his side pack and started taking out the basic items for an emergency transfusion of anti-venom serum.  It just so happens that Trowa is the expert at BOTH demolitions and medical assistance—a skill he learned quickly while working alongside Heero **'I-think-it's-this-wire'** Yuy.  "My work is never done.  Such is life." He mumbled to himself.

            Heero and Quatre were annoyed at the fact they needed to find the crank to drain the walkway leading to the Dormitory Lodge.  After the minor detour, they continued forward.  They walked through a gate and were confronted by a swarm of zombie dogs!

            Heero and Quatre made quick waste of the monsters and trekked forward.  Heero, in particular, took pleasure in this activity, carefully sniping their legs off FIRST then their heads.  Towards the end of the assault, Heero told Quatre to ceasefire while he handled the last legless dog.  He walked over to it, while it was still whimpering and yelping and stepped on its head.

            Quatre gawked at Heero,  "You're a SICK Puppy!"

            "…Correction, I'm the Perfect Soldier," he pointed towards the headless, legless mutt, "---that's a sick puppy!"

            "What-EVER!" he gagged.

They entered the lodge.


	4. Ghouls n' Guns

Chapter 4: Ghouls n' Guns 

(BTW:  I OWN NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS!!!)

            His Cheeriness awoke with a start!  He looked at his bare chest and noticed he was wrapped and bandaged up.  He cringed at the slight sting in his arm, he was also patched up in his arm.  Duo glanced around to find, at least, someone watching over him, or any impending danger about him.  When he realized that he no longer felt like the soon-to-be-dead he'd realized, someone administered the serum.  They also took the time to patch him up.

            Duo got up from the cot and walked across the room to pick up his shirt and beret.  As he lifted the articles off the storage bin he noticed the letter.  It read:

            **Duo:**

**                        What AM I to do with you?  First, you take on the Zombie Anaconda, by yourself, with that butter knife—you call a combat knife.  Then you get yourself poisoned.  And it's up to ME to administer the serum I just HAPPEN to keep on me in case of emergency (for ALL of you guys, of course), therefore saving your goofy life.  I even had to put my hands on that birdcage you call a chest to treat, bandage, and wrapped you. **

**            But ANYway, to prevent this from EVER happening again, I took the time to modify ALL the silly weapons you have.  Now they won't SUCK.  I also made some modified Fire, Acid, BOW, and Freeze Rounds for your newly modified Grenade Launcher.  Be careful with that customized shotgun—the recoil can knock your torso off if you don't brace yourself.  If I'm in the room with you---DON'T use it.  All the weapons have laser sighting—cuz I know your aim SUCKS!**

**            STOP staring at ME!!!  I was worried. Besides, you SUCK.  At least now, you'll ALMOST be as cool as me.**

**PS.  Btw, I spotted Heero with someone (survivor from Alpha?) heading towards the dormitory lodge across from the mansion.  Zechs is probably there as well.**

**WhatEVER you do, Maxwell---DON'T GET YOU STUPID-ASS KILLED!**

**TB**

Duo cheered,  "AW YEAH!!! ALRIIIIGHT!  YEE-HAW!" He stopped and slapped himself for shouting 'yee-haw'.  "What was that?"  He gathered and equipped the modified-badass weaponry and left the room.  Once again he stepped into the survival horror.

            Quatre begged his superior,  "Please, sir!  I don't think you should go in there with out the V-Jolt Cola herbicide!"

            Heero leaned against the dorm room door and sighed,  "Why, Quatre?"

            "Because, it's TOO dangerous. According to this document I found earlier; the giant plant can be killed with the herbicide with an 100% rating percent."  He showed the file to Heero who just scanned over it and gave it back.  "Heero!  Are you listening to me?"

            "Yes, Quatre. You are yelling at me."

            "So?"

            "I'm going into the central room and I'm gonna waste that giant, mutant, zombie plant with my enhanced grenade launcher---"

            "Heero!"

            The Perfect One patted the Whiny One upon the head and announced,  "Relax, you goofy boy. I've got acid rounds.  I'll annihilate it."

            Quatre shook his head in frustration.  "No!  This isn't the way to solve this problem.  Let's go to the chemical room, MAKE the V-Jolt Cola herbicide, come BACK here.  Then we can KILL it---PERMANENTLY."

            Totally ignoring Quatre's words of wisdom, Heero took a peek at the botantical beast,  "I can take him."  He uttered, glaring at the huge bulb and tentacles.  Suddenly he took off, locking the door behind him and making a mad dash towards the plant monster.

            "!!!" Quatre spazzed. He went racing out of the dormitory room and into the chemical room to make the monster killing herbicide…

            **15 minutes later.**

            Quatre hurried through the dorm door only to find Heero standing there.  Quatre was TOO shocked to speak.  Heero just stared at him…. Strangely.

            "Did you go to the restroom or what?"  The Perfect Shot asked with a slight annoyed tone.  "What too you so long?"

            Quatre closed his mouth and swallowed.  "I had to be careful when mixing the chemicals, otherwise they just evaporate----WHAT??  WHAT HAPPENED?  Are you alright?"  He exclaimed in disbelief.

            "I'm fine.  I took that plant out 10 minutes ago.  I was waiting for YOU."

            "ME?"

            Heero ordered, "Follow me, Quatre." He headed back towards the plant room.

            Quatre obeyed.  Seconds later, he found himself staring at a giant purple glob on the carpeted floor.  The plant was decimated.  The strong odor of sulfuric acid started to burn his nose, but Heero seemed fine.  In fact, he was smiling…..??!?!

            "…..sir?"

            "You wasted valuable killing time, Mr. Winner---making herbicide.  We are Preventers---not gardeners!"  he scoffed brazenly.  Heero continued his vainglorious (damn near Zero-System) sounding speech and said,  "Weed killer holds NOTHING to the power of Sulfuric acid.  Take notes Mr. Winner, I'm gonna take you to school on this…."

            "uhm….sir?"

            "If these IDIOTS at Parasol were SO smart they would've just doused the damn thing with these babies---" Heero held up his acid round loaded weapon.

            "….Heero!?"

            "What?!"

            "The PLANT, HEERO!  IT'S ALIVE!  RUN!!!"  Quatre screamed pointing behind Heero.

            "Hn?"  Heero turned around, but it was too late.

            A HUMONGUS, purple vine wrapped around Heero's waist and lifted him WAY up in the air.  Another swatted at Quatre.  He rolled out of the way and fired a few PB rounds into the plant, carefully missing Heero.  It was useless!  Heero fired a few (acid) rounds into the plant.  It seemed to have pissed the thing off.  It slammed Heero into the ground. Quatre fired the grenade launcher, Heero dropped, into the evil plant.  Another HUGE tentacle plant went flying towards Quatre, and he went crashing through the dorm door, tumbling across the room and hitting the wall.

            "OW!!!"

            "Oh shit!!  Quatre!  Do something!!!!  Use that herbicide!!!"  Heero yelled out from within the other other.

            As soon as Quatre got up the, the dorm door was suddenly closed off by hundreds of vines,  blocking entry.  He had NO other choice but to go for the roots in the basement storage area….

            "Don't worry, sir!  I'll save you!"  Quatre promised as he went running out of the dorm room.

            "Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeematch!!!!"  Duo yelled as he went charging towards the zombified anaconda.  He fired the Customized Grenade Launcher.  The recoil made him fly back a few feet, but he was OKAY!

            The creature slithered out of the way of the second shot---done by that DEVILISHLY kewl Custom Shotgun.  Good for snake.  Not good for Duo.  He went flying, all the way across the room and through a wall.  He was NOT okay.

            "?!?!?"  The legless terror stared.  When Duo went racing out with an enhanced handgun, it hissed and went sliding towards him.

            The slithering monstrosity bulldozed Duo in the chest, before he could get a good shot.  The weapon went flying out of his hand.  The serpent freak show then slammed Duo on his back and snapped at him.  The God of Death served the beast a good kick in the jaw.  The snake's tail then smacked him in the side, sending him rolling into the wall, nearby the gun.

            As the snake went gliding towards him,  Duo took out the gun and shot in right between the eyes.  As the snake reeled back in agony, The Braided Wonder took out the machete (Trowa so kindly replaced the SUCKY combat knife with) and slashed him dead in the jaw.

            Duo took another swing and DEFANGED the beast!

            "Yeah, BEOTCH!  Don't feel so good now!"  Duo teased, as he got ready to take out the other eye with a strong swing----

            FUMBLE!  The snake tripped Duo with his tail and whipped him several times in the back and bottom.  Then he combo-ed the attack by smacking him across the room, like a hockey puck.  Oddly enough, Duo went sliding into the same hole he made with the Shotgun earlier.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!"  Duo screamed as he went soaring across the floor and into the hole,  "OOOOOOOOOOUCH!"

            "HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!"  The Serpentine Zombie sounded in ire.

            He went moving across the floor towards the hole, ready to swallow this Braided meal whole----

            "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSSS-------"

            **BLAM!!!!**  Duo fired the Custom Shotgun---POINT BLANK---into the opened mouth of the anaconda zombie.

            Purple Goo went flying EVERYWHERE.  Duo didn't go ANYWHERE,  he stationed himself upon the floor.  It's a bit, dented with the shape of his backside, but he's OKAY!  The Anaconda isn't---he doesn't have a head…. Or the rest of the top half of his body….

            "And that is WHY I ALWAYS wear black."  Duo said to himself with a wicked grin.  He got up, wiped the goo from his face and hair and looked at the carcass, which was dissolving into slime.

            There was a knock on the door: Trowa strolled in.  He looked at Duo.  He looked at the large holes in the walls, mainly the one behind Duo.  He looked at Duo. Then he looked at the LARGE puddle of goo under Duo,  "Find anything unusual, Duo?"  _What the hell?  Is there someone in my head?  That was such a STUPID question!!!  I see the large slimey puddle on the floor and yet I ask…_

            Duo blinked,  "Don't you see?!  I've taken out the snake bastard that almost killed me!"  Duo bragged pointing the large purple mass of slime under his feet.  He peered down and sighed.  _Maybe it's the herbs?  Gotta try take some of that shit at home._

            "Indeed."  Trowa nodded he continued to walk down the room and noticed the hole the snake MAY have emerged from.  "Hey, Duo."

            "Yeah---DOH!"  Duo slipped on the slime.  He crawled out of the mess and tried to wipe the goo off the bottom of his boots against a nearby and un-decimated wall.  "Whassup?"  he played it off.

            "I saw that."

            "Whatever, man…."

            "Climb down that hole."  Trowa ordered.

            Duo peered down the DARK hole—the snake came out of …  "Hell-motha-fuckin'-NO!  I ain't going down there!  There may be MORE snakes down there!!!  Or zombies!  Or dogs!"

            "I got a rope.  You climb down on this."  Trowa continued to ignore Duo and prep him for descent, slowly moving him towards the edge.  "GO!"

            Duo snatched away,  but to no avail.  Trowa's grip was cast iron.  His expression was blank(er).  "Why don't YOU!  Oh-Walking-Arsenal-of-Destruction?"

            "I'm heavier."

            "So!"

            "I have this!"  He aimed the Magnum in Duo's face and smirked.

            "So!"

            "Fine." Trowa sighed.  He turned and slowly walked away. "Very well."

            Duo exhaled in relief. _Wow!  He was bluffing the WHOLE time.  He could never shoot me!  I can run this!  I'm gonna---_

            Duo's train of thought was broken when he noticed that the former HeavyArms Pilot had turned to face Duo.

            "Hunh?!!"  Duo sounded as Trowa went running towards him and jump kicked him in the stomach.  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAck!"  Duo screamed as he went falling into the darkness.  "Gaaaaaaaaaack!"  Duo blurted as he landed on his butt.  "You…..jerk!!!"  He yelled upward at Trowa. Suddenly a line of rope landed next to him.  "Huh?  WHAT are YOU doing?!?"

            Trowa peered over the edge and smirked,  "Oops!  I dropped the rope.  How stupid of me.  Don't go anywhere I'll go find another rope."  Trowa slowly walked out of the roomà laughing.

            Quatre and Heero were in the vicinity of the dorm hallway outside that nasty dorm that contains the NOW dead plant monster.  As Quatre continues to wrap his waist and chest with gauze, Heero decides to thank his savior for today.

            "……Thank you, Quatre."

            Quatre smiled and responded from behind,  "Oh it's nothing!  I'd do it again if I had to."

            "…"

            Quatre started humming.

            "…."

            Quatre hummed louder, wrapping the gauze REALLY tight.

            "… you REALLY want to hear me say it, don't you?"

            Quatre played modest.  "Oh what on Earth are you talking about, sir?"

            "Yes, you were right.  Yes, I was STUPID-DEAD-WRONG about the bloody plant, Quatre.  You REALLY have what it takeS to be a Preventer… AND a gardener----"

            Quatre tightened his fixinings,  "_Heero_…. That **_wasn't_** nice." He continued to smile sweetly---while baring his teeth.

            "Sor-ry---pl—ease---loo—sen---wra---ppings..."

            "That's better."  Quatre obeyed and started to cover the gauze wrapping with bandages. 

A few minutes later that procedure was finished and the two Preventers left the dormitory area.  They noticed a secret passageway underneath the water fall leading to the underground area.  Heero's first impulse was to brave the water and carry on, but Quatre knew otherwise and suggested that they head back to the mansion for more clues and useless items…

            Duo decided not to wait for that Long Legged Loser to come back with ANYthing for him.  It might be a bomb or worse---he might try to join him.  He had an odd feeling about this strangely put tombstone and started to investigate.

            "An underground burial?  How goofy!"  He muttered to himself.  "It's probably not even real."  He joked as he kicked it over to reveal a ladder going down.  "Well, lookie here!"  He, then, realized that it was leading DOWN and thought about the unseen dangers that may lurk there.  Then he thought about Trowa.

            He climbed down the ladder and entered a tiny area, complete with zombie on the floor.  Knowing this trick ALL too well he fired his gun into its head.  When he heard the dead moan, Duo knew he was the man and continued to explore….

            "The Kitchen?!??!"  Duo exclaimed in stupefaction.  "HOW in the BLOODY HELL can you put the KITCHEN under the GRAVESITE?!"  Duo peered into the refrigerator,  "What a bunch of morbid---AAAAAAH!  Hell!  No food!  BASTARDS!!!" he yelled in disgust.

            He continued to walk past the table, when he heard…. footsteps.  They were slow, yet steady and balanced.

            "Trowa?"  Duo called out.  He headed towards the door to where he heard the footsteps. _Hold up!_ _Trowa would've came in behind me—He's not THAT quick_.  Duo figured.  

Then it was someone else.  The footsteps got closer, and a little faster.

"Heero? Zechs?"  Duo hoped out loud.  _Please let it be one of them. ALIVE and normal NOT zombified!_

The door flew open. It wasn't Heero, Zechs, or Trowa!  The zombie went hurrying towards Duo.  The Walking Arsenal of Death flipped over the table and tossed a heavy pot at the monster, knocking it on the floor.  Duo raced over towards the fallen zombied and stomped on its head.

"You CREEPY jerk!!!"  Duo exclaimed.  He marched past the headless mess and clambered up the stairs the zombie had traipsed through.

            Heero and Quatre were BACK in the mansion area.  They were in the garden area when they thought they heard something.

            "What do you suppose THAT was?"  Heero asked to his underling.  

            Quatre, finally getting brassy, kept gun aimed at ANYthing suspicious, his blue-green eyes scanning EVERYTHING.  "I don't know, sir.  Whatever it is, it had best know to stay out of our way."

            "Indeed."  Heero nodded as they cautiously entered the razed outdoor hallway.

            When they finally entered the sanctity of the mansion, the sound they thought they heard revealed itself.  Suddenly a midsize reptilian beast, armed with fangs and long claws busted through the door and screamed.

            Quatre froze and yelled, "Oh shi---"

            The creature went sprinting towards them.  Heero shoved Quatre aside and fired his Napalm-Filled Grenade Launcher into its face.  It went flying down the hall in flames.

            "This is where I start to have fun."  Heero commented to himself.  He strolled over to Quatre and hoisted him up.

            "Are you crazy!?"  Quatre disagreed.  "That thing was fast!  It was trying to kill us!  It's obviously intelligent to open doors and stalk us!"  He corrected himself,  "No!  It's a Stalker!  That monster was stalking us!"

            Heero continued towards the door, further down the hallway.  He hadn't opened this before…

            "Heero!  We should leave!  There could be more---"

            "Good!"  He spoke as he entered the study room.  He hit the switch and looked around.  "Maybe this mission won't be so boring after all."  

  "Heero.  Are you listening to me?"

            Heero decided to switch weapons. He took out his two Enhanced Magnums.  He had a score of round (sets) on him, but that was ALL he needed. It also help that he found some magnum rounds sets on the desk.  Unlike a certain Unibanged bullet hog—he didn't NEED to take MORE than he needed. He smiled at his new choice tools for mayhem. Unlike, Trowa, Heero can hold two Magnums and go off like a John Woo flick.

            Quatre was freaked out.  _Those tiny, shiny handguns picked over the grenade launcher?_  _What is Sniper Yuy thinking?_  "Sir!!!  What are you doing—You're going after those hunters with a handgun?"

            "THESE are **Magnums**, kid.  **One** shot in the head—they're **headless**.  **One** shot in the leg—they're **legless**.  Shot in the chest---**they are** **fucked**.  You can have the Grenade Launcher---WITH the Acid and Sulfuric rounds. They will do great damage as well."

            "Uhm…." Quatre gulped taking the weapon into his hands.  "Thanx, sir."

            "Let's go hunting."  Heero concluded as he and his sidekick headed back into the survival horror…. AGAIN.


	5. Traitors, Stalkers, and Sewers---OH gawd...

**Chapter 5: Traitors, Stalkers, and Sewers---OH gawd!!!**

(I OWN NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS!!!)

            Alright, back to Duo Maxwell---Undead Combat Extraordinaire!

            The Black Clad Preventer crept through the secret elevator doors only to realize he was ONCE again in the hallway leading to the Dining Hall.  Before he could go on a cursing fit, he heard footsteps.

            "AAAAh!  Not this crap again!  I swear—EVERYBODY and their momma wants to creep up on a fella like some Stalker---"

            Just then, a Stalker (not to be confused with the Hunter owned by Capcom---tee-hee!) came lunging towards him; jaws open, claws aiming.

            "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYE!!!!"  Duo screamed like some girl on speed and took a desperate swing.

            BAW!!!!!

            Duo's leather-clad fist cracked the Stalker's jaw and rendered it unconscious.  He has ONCE AGAIN avoided the use of weaponry.

            "Oh shit!"  He gasped looking at the strange reptilian/humanoid creature.  "What the wholly-fuck is THAT!?!?!?"

            Suddenly the dazed creature sprang up and took a slash at him, but Duo sidestepped and kicked the creature in the neck out of scared-stupid impulse.  But the beat down didn't stop there.  As the Stalker screamed it's final scream, Duo freaked out, scared it was calling others and pistol whipped it with his Sniper Rifle---SEVERAL BRUTAL times.  Finally he stepped on the dead aberration's face---crushing its skull.  

            Common sense would tell a man that a headless monster is a dead monster--- but NOT Duo.  He screamed again, " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh!!!  It's trying to kill me!!!!"  In reaction to the dark blood gushing all over the place, Duo ran out into the Dining Hall, screaming like a bitch.  "Trooooooooooooooowa!!!!"

            Speaking of Trowa, The Silencer, was way above Duo and the Dining Hall, awaiting someone else, as he positioned himself behind the looming statue over the table.

            "Gawd, he's an idiot…." He muttered to himself.

            Suddenly a Stalker approached him snarling.  Trowa turned around and stared at it.  The Stalker began to purr. Then it licked his face.

            "Oh, that's **SO** sweet, **Snookums**…" Trowa tried not to sound too disgusted, wiping his face.  "Do Daddy a favor and chase that silly man with the long hair for me so I can set this trap, okay?"  

'Snookums' wasn't really a bad creation of misused science; he was just an overgrown, scaly-skinned, ravenous puppy that needed to feel loved.  At least that's what Trowa realized, by looking into his deranged, slimey eye.  When this is ALL over, Trowa considered taking this freak back to the circus.  _Won't the Ringmaster be surprised?  _Trowa thought maliciously.

            "YiIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiay!"  The Stalker squealed before taking a grand leap off the walkway, landing on the marbled floor behind Duo.  "RIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEiYA!!!"  It sounded at Duo.

            Not noticing Trowa from above, Duo only saw the Stalker landing from NOWHERE and picked up pace.  He seemed to scream even louder than before as he flew through the Dining Hall doors, leading to the Main Hall.  The Stalker happily and sadistically went barreling after him.

            As Heero finished blasting two Stalkers to high hell in the stairway corridor, Quatre managed to hear Duo's frantic screams.

            "Heero!  I heard someone!"

            The Perfect Soldier kept the Magnums in hand and looked around at the multiple doors.  "That was Duo. I heard him, too.  He's probably in the Main Hall again.  Let's go!"  

            They headed downstairs and entered the walkway over the Main Hall.  The two Preventers went marching downstairs and looked around.  Due to the enormous size of the room and mansion altogether, it was hard to determine exactly where the screams were coming from or where they were heading.

            Quatre raced towards the gallery door.  Heero sped through the Dining Hall doors.

            Trowa watched as Heero entered the room.  He was quiet.  He was very still. He was spotted. _Damn!!!_

            "Trowa?"  Heero uttered in slight shock.  "What are you doing up there?"

            The Tall Teen slumped over, against the statue and huffed,  "I… was attacked... for-forget about me…."

            Heero felt **odd** about this situation.  Nevertheless, Trowa was in trouble.  Despite not seeing blood, he figured Trowa had already treated and covered his wounds.  So, he stepped closer.  Soon, he was DIRECTLY under Trowa and the statue…

            "Tell me what to do, Trowa.  Can you make it down here?"  Heero asked concerned for his old comrade. "Trowa?"

            "**Just…  just… hold still."**  Trowa snarled before using his weight one final time…

            Quatre looked around in the art gallery room. He spotted a dead Stalker lying on the floor.  Judging from the multiple stab wounds and slashes, the attacker was armed with a machete… or sword.  Quatre's money was on the machete.  Whoever did it made quick use of it after apparently punching it in the neck and kicking it SO HARD in the gut that the designer boot mark could still be seen…  How the Rookie Runt can determine all this is news to him, too!

            "Sniper Duo Maxwell must've done this.  I'd better go tell---"

            A loud crash was heard coming from the Dining Hall.

            "HN!"  was the only sound Quatre could hear from Heero.

            "OH GAWD!!!  I gotta save him!!!"  Quatre yelled as he quickly departed from the art gallery.

            When he entered the Dining Hall, Quatre spotted Heero lying unconscious.  Some had smashed a statue over his head!!!  He looked up and aimed his grenade launcher up at the walkway.  No one was in sight.

            "Show yourself!"  Quatre ordered—trying to sound intimidating with his young voice.

            "My, my, sounding a tad big for our britches, aren't we?"  Trowa uttered.  He was standing upon the railing of the walkway—directly behind Quatre.

            "Trowa!"  Quatre gasped. Normally he would've been overjoyed to see the former HeavyArms Pilot---but NOT tonight.  "How….how could you----You traitor!" he suddenly growled.  "I'll show you!"

            As Quatre fired the Napalm round, Trowa leaped into the air, flipped and landed upon the Dining Hall table with a loud CRASH of broken plates and glasses.  Quatre fired anyway, hitting the walkway—knocking debris ALL over the doorway area and table.  Trowa flipped out of the way and landed in front of Quatre.  

            "You missed, Little Guy."  Trowa teased.

            "Oh!!!"  Quatre pulled the trigger again----Ooops!  **SOMEONE** forgot to check ammo! "Uhm… SHIT!!!!!"

            Quatre took off running.  Trowa calmly walked after him.  Suddenly, The Demolitionist began to dash, cartwheel and flip behind him at an inhuman speed.  Before Quatre could turn the exit the room (cuz the door was destroyed thanx to Duo)—Trowa leaped into the air and landed on him.  The impact knocked the wind out of the smaller Preventer and he went out.

            "Well done, Mr. Barton."  Zechs Marquise applauded, stepping through the slightly blocked Main Hall doors.  "Keep up the good work for this mission, and your big sister will come out of this just fine."

            Trowa glared at Zechs and frowned,  "She'd better be.  I don't favor betraying my friends."

            The former Lightning Count chuckled,  "You do your part and I'll do mine, Trowa."  He strolled over to Heero's unconscious form and smiled,  "That's a **rare** occurrence.  What did you do to him?"

            "…I knocked a statue over on his head."

            "Wow.  I'm surprised you didn't just piss him off."

            "Me too."

            "Indeed."  Zechs hoisted Heero off the ground and propped him over his shoulders.  "Well, I'm heading to the underground lab.  With the Stalkers roaming about, Duo shouldn't be much of a problem.  You'd better head there as well."

            Trowa reluctantly nodded,  "Right.  I'll use this rookie for bait to lure Duo."

            Zechs stared at Trowa,  "You mean the kid you're standing on?"

            Trowa peered down.  Sure enough he was **still** standing upon Quatre's back.  "If he's still alive, yes."  He replied, as he slowly stepped off the boy.

            "Carry on."  Zechs turned and headed towards the Main Hall doorway.

            Trowa bent down to check if Quatre was still alive and----

            "STAY ALERT!"

            "!!!!"  Trowa gasped at the sudden outburst of his superior and blackmailer.  "Would you cut that OUT!"

            "Oh, sorry." Zechs apologized.  "Carry on."  He left the Dining Hall.

            Duo dashed across the garden area.  This was a new place for him.  He didn't want to be bothered with the coin finding and the painting puzzles.  Luckily, someone was kind enough to use good ole' C4 to annihilate the bugger of a task for him.  _Probably Heero.  What a pal!  Duo thought to himself.  Gawd I wish he were around here.  He's probably shooting up zombies, and ugly dogs, and those lizard men thingies now.  They're probably running **from** him.  That's probably why **EVERYTHING'S** heading my way….  Gawd, I **hate** this shit…_

            Duo was in a blind, desperate fury.  He had his machete out and was slashing ANYthing in his way.  Zombies, doors, that lizard man thingie in the art gallery, a hat rack… Now he found himself running within a slight hedge maze.  The greenery was going down as well.  As soon as he turned the corner, he fell several feet.

            Luckily the machete left his hand as he went flailing and screaming to the watery way entrance area floor.  He groaned as he picked himself off the ground,  "What the hell?"  He looked around.  "Where am I?"  He spotted the sign alone the gated door to his right.  It read:  Dormitory.

            "Hm…  maybe the survivors are still in there."  He figured.

            Quatre stirred.  Then he opened his eyes.  He was staring back at a Stalker.

            "….!!!!"  Quatre couldn't say ANYthing as the creature opened it's jaws and screamed first.  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIYE!!!"

            It raised its slimey arm to claw the Blonde to death, before Trowa walked into the room and ordered it to leave.  The Stalker whimpered, but he obeyed and left the room.  Quatre looked around and realized he was in a save point room, but he never saw this place before.  Suddenly the odor of raw sewage hit his nose.

            "Yes, we are in a sewer."  Trowa spoke.  "I hate it here as well, but I'm awaiting orders from Zechs."

            Angered, yet fearful,  Quatre had a million questions to ask his former Preventer Idol.  "What is the meaning of this?  I thought we were a team.  How are we to get out of here, if we're out attacking each other?"

            Trowa sat down beside the infamous typewriter and table.  He tried to avoid eye contact, but was forced to when Quatre actually raised his voiced in an angered and highly pissed tone.

            "**I DON'T UNDERSTAND your ODD behavior, Trowa Barton!  Why are THOSE MONSTERS listening to YOU!  Why HAVE YOU BETRAYED us!  You better answer me. Before you let those beasts kill me, answer me NOW!**"

            "…?!?!?"  Trowa twitched, noticing Quatre's eyes suddenly color swapped from turquoise to gold and back  **Something**_,_ deep inside his consciousness, told Trowa **not** to piss this little kid off anymore.  It just **MIGHT** get ugly.   So he replied calmly "I am not doing this because I want to, Quatre.  I'm being blackmailed by Zechs to betray you guys.  There are to be no survivors in this experiment.  You especially should be dead.  You were on the first team."

            "What?!"

            "I've said too much already---"

            Using his Space Heart Thingie, Quatre could already tell the situation going on with his superior and would-be-friend, "He has your sister, doesn't he?"  

            Trowa spoke,  "If you leave the room, the Stalkers WILL kill you." He stood up and left the room. "I'll be back soon, kid."

            Duo trudged throughout the entire dormitory lodge.  He only found dead(er) zombies, the biggest bees he had ever seen in one dorm, and a big purple acidic-smelling mess in the living room area. 

He entered the basement storage area only to find a large zombified shark and its babies flipping and flailing upon the ground. This was bizarre indeed.  He couldn't stand to see such monstrosities in such misery.  He took out the Sniper Rifle and sniped the little ones.  Then he took out a grenade launcher and roaster the momma.  The rank smell of bad fish filled the lower area.  Duo left with much haste.

            After having his fun he was about to leave the dorms until he entered the final hallway and bumped into Zechs.

            "Hey, man!!!"  Duo exclaimed pointing his finger at his commander.  "Where on earth have you **bean**?!  We looked ALL over this crazy place looking for you.  You left the Main Hall!  Why did you ditch us, skank?!"

            Zechs was at first alarmed, but he realized he wasn't caught; Heero's in the confines of the prison cell underground.  Then he came up with an idea to lead Duo back to his doom at the mansion.  "I had my reasons perhaps you've met them?  Undead, ugly, have a thing for live flesh?  It was all I can do to protect myself.  And this gorgeous body and hair of mine."

            Duo gawked at him,  "Uh… whatever…."

            "Ex-cuse ME!  You're the one putting food in your speech.  'Where have I **BEAN**?!?'  What are you just learning English or what?"

            "Kiss my ass!  You and Heero ditched us!  Fuckers!!!"

            "We DID NOT!  Heero went a little further, he's probably at the underground area."

            Duo arched his brow,  "Uhm, how do **you** know about Heero, when we were **ALL** together?  And **WHAT** underground area?"

            Uh OH.  I've said too much.  Perhaps Trowa was right about this place siphoning the I.Q. points form your head.  I had better play this off!  Zechs thought.

            "Sir?!"  Duo questioned.  "Are you hiding something from me?"

            "Haha!  Stop worrying your pretty little head of hair off, Duo!  It's not like I had someone knock a statue over the boy's head and kidnap him---DOH!"

            "Pretty head of hair? DUDE!  Cool it!"  Suddenly, Duo gasped, clasping his hand over his mouth.  "You!!!  Traitor!!!  You had Trowa knock a statue over Heero's head in the Dining Hall so YOU could kidnap Heero and take him to our final destination at the underground area and laboratory!" Duo paused and looked puzzled for a minute.  "Or am I saying too much?  

            Zechs was puzzled as well.  _How could this ditz find out my plan? My collaboration with Trowa?  The statue to knock Heero out?  Geez, this goof's more smart than he let's on.  I gotta snag this kid too!_

            Without haste Zechs grabbed Duo by the neck and slammed him into the wall.  Duo grunted from the impact. He kneed Zechs in the groin.  The former Epyon Pilot staggered back and yelled,  "You fight like a girl, you bitch!!!

            Duo was incensed,  "What?!  I fight like a girl?!?  You Platinum Haired Freak!  Bastard!  Say it again, bitch!!!  I dare ya!!!" 

            Duo went for the hair, lowering his head for another knee attack.   He shot a knee to the face---smashing his shades—sending Zechs flying through the air and into a wall.  Duo looked back at the door: He could make it, BUT NAW, he's gotta kick this guy's ass for insulting him and possibly causing harm to him best friend.

            "You better tell me where Heero is, you loser!"  Duo demanded as he armed himself with his garbed fists.  "Now let's fight like the big boys do!"

            Zechs staggered to his feet and groaned.  He could SO easily take out his revolver and shoot him in the head.  But he could NEVER live the embarrassment of having to take out an underling so cowardly—ESPECIALLY when the twerp's kicking his ass barehanded.  "Alright, Sniper Maxwell---I DID kidnap him.  But you'll never find him!  **Because I'm gonna rip that braid off your scalp and shove so far down your throat—you'll be shitting braids by morning---****Let's go!"**

            Zechs speared Duo into the opposite wall, causing the smaller boy to dent the wood panel wall.  He yanked Duo by the braid and body slammed him onto the floor.  Duo smashed his boot into Zechs' face, knocking him through the dent in the wall and fall through to the other side. He legs were hanging on the side of the now massive hole: A comical sight indeed.   Duo chuckled as he struggled to his feet only to come in contact with the Renegade Peacecraft's fist.  Duo went rolling down the hallway and smashed into the other wall, making a dent.

            "AAAyh!  That smarts!"  Duo grunted as he prepared for another attack.  He got it.

            Zechs was actually faster than he looked.  He was already in Duo's face when he grabbed the God of Death by the neck and slammed him against the wall.  Duo's feet were desperately kicking at the slight distance from the floor.  Duo suddenly slammed both fists into Zechs temples, causing his superior to drop him instantly.  As the stinging in his head continued to agonize him, Duo ran over him, smashing his face into the floor and ran out of the dorm lodging.

            Yeah. He runs and hides… you all know the rest.

            Trowa walked back in the sewer spare room.  He stalked over to Quatre and nudged him,  "Let's get going."

            Quatre quickly sat up from the cot and looked around for any more Stalkers.  He gave a glare towards Trowa.  "Hmph."

            When they entered the sewer tunnels, Quatre realized over a dozen or more Stalkers surrounded him.  He backed into Trowa in an attempt to escape, but his captor kept a firm grip upon the back of his neck.  

            "If I were to leave this area, without you, they will kill you.  So, please don't try ANYthing stupid."  Trowa warned as he walked through the mass of monsters, forcing Quatre alongside.

            The Rookie Preventer was so terrified; he kept his eyes close and stayed close to Trowa's side. He walked blindly through the countless growls, squeals, and hisses from the creatures.  He was mortified at the idea of one of them to revolt and just gut him right then and there… _It's a good thing they like Trowa_.  Quatre thought. As soon as he heard Trowa order the creatures to go, he felt safe to open his eyes again.  He realized that they were now standing in front of a ladder that led up.

            Trowa began to climb and Quatre quickly followed after, not wanting any nearby Stalkers to get the wrong idea.  He was sticking to this traitor like glue.  He had no other choice—Trowa disarmed him of EVERYTHING.  He didn't even have a Combat Knife!

            As he bumped into Trowa from behind,  "Sorry!" he tried to humor himself.  "You said to stay near!"

             Trowa stared,  "…."

            "What?"

            "I said don't try anything stupid---**NOT** ride my ass!  Give me some damn space!"

            "NO!"  Quatre whined, latching himself to Trowa's arm.  "I'm so scared!  I don't wanna get killed, Sir!"

            "!!!!"  He growled.  He didn't mean to scare the kid. Trowa just didn't want him to get killed running off on his own.  Granted, the creatures wouldn't attack him if he ran off, for Trowa ordered them to just bring him back.  However, it sounds pretty goofy to tell his captive 'Don't escape or the monsters will bring you back! (mwhahahaha!)'. 

Besides, even if he IS being forced to play the roll of the 'Traitor', Trowa has to make this part shine, otherwise Cathy could be in grave danger.  "…fine."  He sighed before continuing on his stroll out to the fountain.

            Under in the Lemur Forest night sky, Wufei Chang was sitting at mansion's heliport.  He had to blow off some steam after falling into another one of Duo's antics.  He figured the mission was simple enough; they'd radio him when they were ready.  But it's been HOURS since the departure.  Surely he would've heard SOMETHING, besides a few crickets and crows out here.  It was weird at HOW quiet the area was.  This a mission---A desperate mission--- SO DESPERATE that he has to sit on his bum and wait for them like some weak onna.

            He looked down at his walkie-talkie.  _I'll just signal these stupid, stupid people to get here.  They'll have an hour!_  As soon as he turned on the walkie-talkie he instantly heard another, and another, and several more RIGHT behind him, responding with static.  He looked in the back and realized EVERYBODY including the team before them had left their bloody walkie-talkie. _Of ALL the DUMBEST shit…._

            "This is NUTS!"  The Solidtary Dragon scowled at the sky, shaking his fists.  "I should be on this mission—NOT that onna-looking Duo Maxwell!  Even that onna-looking Rookie got in on this mission before me!!!  This is INJUSTICE!!!"

            He started to arm himself with the last remaining weapons.  He equipped the gattling gun to his waist.  The equipped the Rocket Launcher to his backside.  He took hold of two Sub Machine guns to his hands and hopped out of the rested chopper…


	6. Enter the Big Guy

Chapter 6: Enter the Big Guy 

"Let's go Heero Yuy." A battered and bruised Zechs Marquise ordered the Perfect Shot out of the prison cell at gun point. "I have a surprise for you."

"What happened to your face?" Heero asked, still a bit dazed for having a 500lb statue smashed over his head. However, after a few self made stitches to the scalp and some severe bone resetting to his neck, he knows he'll be fine.

"Never YOU mind!" Zechs snatched Heero along and headed outside of the prison area corridor. His sudden rush almost caused for Heero to trip. "Sorry, but I'm used to escorting men."

"That's an issue YOU need to deal with."

"Grrrrr."

Soon they were at the highly secured elevator. As soon as Zechs performed the appropriate procedure with the codes, the doors opened. Zechs walked in, tugging Heero alongside. 

Trowa entered the area with Quatre still attached to his arm. Zechs pressed the button to hold the door, allowing Trowa and his captive to enter the elevator car.

"Heero! You're alive!" Quatre exclaimed, overjoyed at his appearance. He looked over to Zechs and growled, "Oh! You're both HORRIBLE people to do this to us! How could you?!"

The four Preventers were now on their way to see this 'surprise' awaiting them. It was a long trip indeed.

"Quiet!" Trowa ordered, pointing the Magnum to Quatre's face. His glare met with Heero's, "…"

"…" Heero replied.

"Just what ARE you two talking about with your dots?" Zechs jestered. "Why don't you tell me, Trowa?

Totally ignoring Zechs, Trowa responding out loud, or at normal talking decibal, "I had NO other choice. She's my ONLY family. If you had family you'd do the same."

"You and the others ARE my family. After all we've been through… I can't believe you doubt what you, the other gundam pilots, and myself are capable of doing with or WITHOUT the gundams. As far as I'm concerned we outnumber Zechs 3:1, you're just too afraid to realize it."

"!!!" Trowa froze showing a spark of emotion. "Uhm…"

"ENOUGH of this!" Zechs shouted. "Trowa, don't become a fool for these soon-to-be-guinea pigs. You are SO close to having Catherine back. But if you screw up, now, I'll give the order to have her killed."

The four walked out of the elevator to face, yet another reinforced door. The verbal battle waged on. When Quatre looked directly into Zechs eye he realized that the jerk was lying. This idiot has NO advantage over ANY of them, besides what's behind that door.

Quatre, suddenly,snatched away from Trowa and shouted, "He doesn't have your sister. He's bluffing!"

"What?" Trowa replied with a start.

"Hn." Heero responded. "It figures."

Zechs was pissed. How did that squirt know?!! "You think I'm bluffing? I'll show you who's bluffing!" he shot Quatre in the stomach.

"Uhhhh!!!" The Little Blonde fell to the floor on his stomach.

WITHOUT hesitation, or fear for his sister's safety, Trowa smashed Zechs dead in his face with his Magnum. "Bastard!"

"uhhh… you… goonies!" Zechs exhaled as he slid down the wall and went out cold.

"Did he just call us goonies?" Heero furrowed his brow. "What the hell is that?" Heero kicked Zechs aside to tend to Quatre.

Trowa rolled him over and laid him across his lap, "Oh man, this kid looked up to me, and I caused this to happen." He spoke in a daze. "I don't deserve to have you guys as a family—"

"Shut-up, Trowa. He's wearing a bullet proof vest."

"Huh?"

Quatre sat up and cheered, "I sure am!"

"oh." Trowa responded. "Well…. GET OFF OF ME!!!"

As the two helped each other up, Heero couldn't help but noticed the door. He walked over to it and pressed a button. It opened. "Let's check this 'surprise' out."

"Right." Trowa replied as he followed Heero. 

Quatre chased behind them.

Now they were in the experiment room. Heero and Trowa looked around and spotted tons of electronics, scan devices, and monitors. Trowa had an ill feeling. So did Heero.

"…"

Heero looked over to Trowa, "Yes, I meant what I said about ALL of you guys. And NO I don't forgive you for smashing that DAMN statue over my head. You're just lucky that that I have VERY effective and fast acting endorphins."

"…"

Quatre laughed, "You guys are SO cool!"

They both looked back at Quatre, "Don't EVER do that again."

"….Okay, sirs!"

"…."

"…"

Soon the 3 Teens were face to face with the 'surprise'. It was a huge humanoid giant encased in a large glass chamber. It was alive! Its heart, which was hanging OUTSIDE of it's chest was beating. Its massive hands were twitching. Its body was unclothed, but there were no genitalia, just large veins wrapped around its weird, yet heavily muscular body…

"Siiiiiiiick!" all three uttered. "Zombie enuch!"

As Quatre just stood there, gawking in total horror, the other two decided to do something about this potential problem. Heero glance about the various controls, as Trowa started randomly pressing buttons.

"Uhm, Trowa you might not want to go pressing buttons like that." Heero suggested as he watched Trowa's hands go near the **RELEASE MONSTER** button.

"Pushing buttons?"

"Yeah."

"That's what I'm doing." Trowa replied, as his hand was about to push the 'button of doom'

Heero grabbed Trowa's hand and pulled him away from the controls, "I think that's the BUTTON TO **not** PUSH."

What a fine time for Quatre's sudden deafness to reoccur! "Oh! You wanna PUSH this BUTTON?" he cheered as he walked past them and smashed the button.

"**WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!?!"** The elder Preventers yelled in unison.

Suddenly the creature's eyes opened and he began to punch at the glass. The water began shooting through the cracks and the floor became soaked. 

"Oh my gawd!!!" Quatre screamed, slipping unto to the floor. "I'm SO sorry!"

Trowa and Heero snatched Quatre off the floor and ran towards the exit. "Run! STUPID!! RUN!!!"

However, it seems as thought the gigantic zombie was having a hard time trying to get out. For several minutes, the creature struggled to push, punch, and slam his way out of the glass chamber. The three, once frantic, Preventers stopped dead in their tracks. They turned around and cautiously walked towards the entrapped monster.

Quatre looked to both his superiors, "Uhm… what do we do, sirs?"

Heero looked at Trowa. 

Trowa looked at Heero.

Both shrugged.

"Shit, the hell should I know." Heero made a confuse facial expression. "He can't EVEN break the glass of the chamber."

"I don't think he's much of a danger to us either." Trowa added. "Let's go."

Heero and Quatre nodded and calmly strolled BACK to the exit.

"BLARGH!!?" The Giant monster roared in confusion. "Pika?!"

Meanwhile Zechs had regained consciousness and was about ready to have his revenge against Quatre--The Whiner, Heero—The Inhuman, and Trowa—The…uh…Tall One.

"I'll get those brats if it's the LAST thing I---" the Platinum Haired Man snarled reloading his gun. His monologue was disrupted. The opening of the elevator door echoed around the corner. "Who's there!? Duo?! If it is, I'll---"

"What are YOU raving about?" Wufei called out as he stepped around the corner to face his superior. 

"Pilot Chang? I thought I told you to wait outside for us. I cannot believe you disobeyed my direct order for you to stay put!" Zechs yelled. 

"Ha! That's what YOU think, you bum! I am disobeying your order of injustice! I am a Preventer. I will go on missions like one as well! And there is NOTHING you can do to stop me!" The Hater of Onnas shouted in a more dominating tone.

Zechs huffed. _Gawd, I hate this kid_. He stood up in front of Wufei, towering over him by a foot, and announced, "Nevermind all that. I'm gonna show you the Tyrant---err Big Guy!"

The Nagging Pilot took a step back and blinked, "Uh…. What are you saying to me? In the name of Justice—"

"Come, Chang! You gotta see my Big Guy!" Zechs grabbed Wufei's arm and led him towards the experiment room doors.

Wufei snatched away and shouted, "Do you think I am an ONNA?!? You can save that perverse stuff for Noin or some other weak onna—I am NOT the one!"

            "What are you talking about?" Zechs pulled a gun on him and ordered, "That's it, Little Dragon---you're coming to see my Big Guy!"

            Wufei was appalled, "WHAT?! INJUSTICE!!!" Still in the dark at what Zechs is REALLY talking about. He sighed when Zechs cocked the gun, "Fine, fine, you pedophile---make it quick! I'm NOT gonna touch it! Don't touch me! And DON'T tell ANYONE about this!"

            "???!?!?" Zechs stared at Wufei oddly. "Dude, I'm talking about a monster named Big Guy! It's a flesh eating beast capable of killing you Preventers and ALL mankind!"

            "Huh?!" Wufei had to take some time to register all that. "Oh… so you have STD's as well—I'm DEFINITELY NOT touching it!"

            "Dear GAWD!"

            Suddenly the doors opened and Zechs was, ONCE AGAIN, face to face with Heero, Trowa, and Quatre. He tried to snag Wufei as his hostage, but the Angry One snatched away and ran through the others.

            "Don't let him touch you! He's got the CLAP!" Wufei yelled as he went hauling down the walk area towards the trapped monster. "What the HELL is this?!"      

            The other three just gawked at Zechs, "EWE!"

            "**T.M.I**. Zechs." Heero commented. "That's what you get for escorting men, I suppose." 

            Quatre and Trowa bust out laughing. Zechs was pissed. Wufei FINALLY realized what Zechs was talking about.

            Wufei looked upon the glass chamber reading a label: Big Guy. "Ohhhh! Big Guy! This MONSTER'S name is Big Guy!"

            "Well DUH!" Zechs aimed his gun at Heero and the others. "Alright, who's gonna do the honors by dying first to Big Guy?"

            All three started laughing. Zechs was dumbfounded. 

            "WHAT IS IT NOW?!?"

            Trowa claimed, "That monstrosity couldn't break out of a paper bag."

            Quatre agreed while laughing, "He's like SO silly-looking---He's neutered. He's ugly! And he can't EVEN break glass!!!"

            Zechs yelled I'll shoot you ALL!!!

            Wufei yelled from a distance, "Not before I shoot this freakshow in the jar!" He opened fire with his Gattling Gun.

            ALL four turned and shouted, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!"

            As Wufei stopped his 5 minute session of lead, he turned to face the others who were know about to strangle him. "What's the big deal, you weaklings? I handled it!"

            Quatre yelled, "The glass was reinforced—THE monster couldn't get out!!!"

            They all stared up at the large chamber now cracked ALL OVER due to the hail of bullets. The creature was untouched, but he realized what the Chinese Pilot had done and punched his deformed fist through the glass.

            "Yes!!! He's FREE! My Big Guy is FREE!!" Zechs cackled.

            "More stuff I DID NOT need to know." Heero spoke in monotone. 

            "That's it! Heero Yuy! I'm gonna kill!" Zechs growled as he grabbed Heero from behind and went towards the Big Guy's chamber.

            "Hn!"

            Trowa grabbed Zechs around the neck. 

Quatre grabbed for Zechs' hair. 

Wufei grabbed Zechs' ears.

            The Big Guy jumped down from the elevated chamber and went marching towards the group. Heero tried to fight off Zech's hold, but it was no use. Zechs gripped Heero's hair and pushed him towards the Big Guy (not to be confused with Tyrant from Capcom).  The creature stared at Heero and roared.

            "Uh……..Hn!" Heero released a slight yell.

            Trowa got an idea and poked Zechs in the eyes. Zech hollered for all it was worth as he reluctantly released Heero. Unfortunately, he went flying into Big Guy.

            The Big Guy looked WAY down to where Heero had landed and was about to stab him with his creepy, yet CLAWED fists---

            "AAAAAAAAyh!!!" Duo yelled as he falling out of the AC vent shaft overhead. He bounced off Big Guy's head, before landed on his feet…. Big Guy's feet.

            "GLAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Big Guy roared in pain, flailing his mighty arms everywhere.

            Duo and Heero scampered from under him and headed towards Trowa and the others. 

            Zechs yelled out, "DUO!!!! I'm gonna kill you!!!" he went charging towards Duo who was too busy, fixing his beret to notice.

            "You dork!  MOVE!"  Heero snatched Duo, by his braid, out of the way, and Zechs went running into Big Guy. 

            "NO! Don't come this WAY!" Zechs shouted as he looked upward, past the vein-covered chest to see the creature's PISSED expression. "Nooooo!"

            Big Guy shot his clawed fist and ARM through Zechs' stomach and held him up. It was almost as if he were showing off his victim… to FUTURE victims!!!

            "…" Trowa stared as he slowly back away. "Bye!" The Long Legged Lad took off.

            "Shit!" Quatre squeaked as he went running not to far behind.

            "….uh…. my bad…." Wufei concluded as he hurried out of the area.

            Duo and Heero looked at each other as the creature started to stare at them.

            "It can't help what it does." Duo uttered in fear.

            "Hn." Heero grabbed Duo by the braid and took to hauling ass. "Shit! It's NOT getting ME!"


	7. Can Anyone Stop This Ugly Machine?

**Chapter 7: Can Anyone Stop This Ugly Machine?**

            Trowa made it through the door. 

Quatre made it through the door. 

Wufei made it through the door. 

Heero and Duo SLAMMED face first into the NOW closed door.

"OW!" Duo hissed rubbing his forehead. "Why didn't you open the bloody door?!?!" He snapped at Heero, smacking him in the back of the head.

"Do that again and I'll break your GAWDDAMN arms off!" Heero growled glaring at the 2nd Rank Sniper. 

Both teens stood up and went to pounding at the door. They soon hear the other 3 Preventers doing the same. The doors had locked! 

Suddenly the intercom went off: **EMERGENCY! DUE TO BIOHAZRD RELEASE. THIS FACILITY WILL SELF DETONATE IN 5 MINUTES! I REPEAT—"**

"OH MY GAAAAAAWD!!!" Duo screamed. "I cannot die like this!"

"Screaming like a bitch?" Heero commented. "Calm down. There is a LOGICAL explanation for this. The room detects an error with the machines—or in this case OUT of the machines. If we neutralize the problem—It should release the locks…And hopefully the self detonation as well." Heero concluded with a sigh.

Duo gawked at Heero, "YOU'RE SO FUCKING CALM!!!!!? The Braided Wonder yelled. "Oh yeah, YOU'VE blown yourself up before—You're Heero the Human Gundam Yuy---WHO am I?! I'm just fodder! I'm the guy that's gonna die in 5 minutes---"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" the HUGE creature roared, silencing the Yapping Sniper.

"Hn." Heero walked past Duo, who was still glued to the door. "It's time to leave."

Suddenly he was face to face with the beast. He roared some more before taking a swing at Heero's head.

Heero duck.

Big Guy missed.

Heero speared his fist into Big Guy's gut.

Big Guy went down.

Heero turned and walked away.

The alarm went off.

The door's lock was also released. Duo fell backwards into Wufei, who dropped him. Heero walked through the door and stared at the others.

"What happened?" Quatre asked looking outward toward the fallen giant.

"I hit him." Heero uttered before heading out. "Let's go.

"To the Heliport! I, WUFEI CHANG, will lead---"

"Shut- up and let's go, Wufei." Trowa ordered as he stormed past Wufei.

Duo picked himself up off the floor and sighed, "Gee, didn't see that coming."

            Soon ALL 4 remaining Preventers were dashing down the hallway towards the Heliport elevator. Suddenly the ground began to shake and the intercom went off again:

            "**WARNING—THIS FACILITY WILL SELF DETONATE IN 5 MINUTES. I'M DEAD SERIOUS, THIS TIME. THIS CANNOT BE ALTERED. I REPEAT…"**

            "Oh man! How far do we have to go?" Quatre whined, turning another corner and sighting the elevator leading to the Heliport. "Oh boy! Yay!"

            "Quiet you!" Trowa snapped. "I hear something…"

            "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!" Big Guy was near.

            "Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh-Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" howled SEVERAL zombies far down the hallway.

            "Wow! Look at all those MONSTERS!!!" Quatre cheered.

            "You wanna take them out?" Trowa asked.

            "Hell no!!!" Quatre boarded the elevator.

            "Yeah, weak onnas and children FIRST." Wufei snorted.

            "Okay!" Quatre nodded as he remained in the elevator car waiting to go up. "Bitchy pilots go next!"

            "INJUSTICE!" Wufei snarled as he also boarded the elevator car. "Let's GO already!"

            Duo and Heero was blasting and shooting behind them when the made it near Trowa .

            "Go on! I owe you one!" Trowa spoke to Heero and Duo. "I owe you all."

            "OH SHUT-UP and get on the DAMN elevator, Trowa!" Heero ordered as he shoved Trowa into the elevator car.

            "Seriously, YOU'RE SO STUPID nowadays! We GOTTA get out of here!" Duo exclaimed.

            As soon as they set foot upon the Heliport, the 4 remaining Preventers went running towards the chopper. Wufei sat at the controls and started the thing up. Trowa sat next to Wufei on the passenger's side of the cockpit. Quatre buckled himself in and shouted to the others to climb aboard… 

            Former Pilots 01 and 02 went running towards the chopper. WITHOUT warning---Big Guy came flying out of the ground!!! 

            "Oh no!!!" Quatre shrieked.

            "…" Trowa yelled.

            "Fuck this…" Wufei muttered as he took to the air, hovering over the beast and his comrades. "We've got 2 minutes! Hurry UP and Kill that Monster!"

            Heero and Duo just staggered back and gulped. Big Guy looked PISSED OFF!!

            With lightning speed the beast went tearing towards the both of them---KNOCKING Heero and Duo SEVERAL feet across the Heliport grounds and into a wall.

            "Hn…." Heero groaned shaking the stars out of his head. "Duo, give me Grenade Launcher."

            Duo slipped out of the dent his backside made in the stonewall and looked about him, "What Grenade Launcher?"

            "BAKA!" Heero hissed as he snatched the large weapon off his back. "Distract him for me."

            "WHAT?!"

            Suddenly the creature went zooming towards them again---This time he went for Duo. It shoved Heero aside and grabbed Duo by his braid, before he could dash off. The creature threw Duo in the center of the heliport, right under the now hovering chopper.

            Then its sights went to Heero. It grabbed Heero by the face and hoisted him into the air. Needless to say, Heero did NOT panic—he just fired DIRECTLY into the creature's face…. An ACID round.

            Heero fell to the ground and rolled out of the way. He did notice a slight burn on his bare arms---nothing to worry about. Acid doesn't phase Heero either. As the beast howled at his melting face, Heero hurried over to Duo---who was little dizzy (NAW?!). As he tried to lift Duo up and signal Wufei to land---A Rocket Launcher landed upon his head----

            "HN!?!?" Heero yelled as he fell to the ground and went back to la-la land. "Damn….it…."

            Trowa put his hand over his mouth and called out, "SHIT! I really didn't do that on purpose!! I was aiming for Duo!"

            "Dude!!! You tried to kill me, too!?!" Duo shouted.

            "No stupid!!! He was trying to give you a weapon that will blow that monster up!" Wufei yelled through the megaphone. "You've got a minute—Kill the monster now!!!"

            "You're our amazon, Duo!!!" Quatre cheered.

            Trowa smacked him in the back of the head, "No **he's** NOT!"

            "Oh!"  Quatre corrected himself.  "You're our barbarian, Duo!!!

            "Dear gawd. How long have YOU been in the mansion?"

            The Big Guy walking blindly towards Duo and the lowering chopper. His face was all mangled. Blood spurted from all over. The acid started burning through the ugly flesh, revealing various tissues. It was gross! It was coming to a draw.

            "It's Sniper Time!" Duo grinned as he fired the Rocket Launcher.

            The rocket went soaring towards Big Guy---

            "LET'S GO!" Trowa shouted as he yanked Duo aboard. "I got Heero onboard---We've got 45 seconds left!"

            The explosion rocked the chopper before it took off and went straight up. Judging from the charred remains far below—Duo made the shot.

            Luckily the chopper was a badass, and the blast of the mansion and laboratory only rattled the machine a tad bit… Quatre still threw up—but hey everybody's still okay!

            As Wufei flies the chopper towards Lemur City, Heero, who finally awakes, looks over to all the other survivors of the Parasol Mansion. Trowa is styling his hair. Duo is sleeping across the elongated seat next to Heero's sitting space…. The trail of drool sliding closer to the Perfect Soldier's rear… (ewe!). Quatre is also asleep, and his snores can be heard all the way from the cockpit passenger's seat of the chopper. Wufei is cursing up a storm in reaction to the snoring…..

            **Heero's voice over:** _I don't know WHAT the HELL happened when Trowa hit me over the head with a Rocket Launcher that day. All I know is that all of my friends are okay. We took out the bad guys, including a traitor: Zechs. We found one survivor. We eliminated the evidence. As far as I'm concerned---Mission Accomplished----UGH! What the Hell did I sit in?!?!? Is that Duo's drool on the damn seat!!!!! GROSS!!!_

**Voice Over END**_._

**THE END…..?!?!?**


End file.
